I know that a lot of people ask questions like this but I think my situation is a little unique.
I'm 30 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for a year now (he's 31) and before we started dating he had always said he wasn't a sexual person so I didn't expect a whole lot of sex all the time anyway.
The problem I'm having is that I want to have sex a lot more than he does. If I were to leave it up to him we would only have sex once a week. A lot of times when I ask for sex he says yes but then he falls asleep or forgets about it. I feel like I would literally have to harrass him to get him and I obviously don't want to be a pain or feel like I'm begging - I really want it to be mutual.
When I bring the topic up he always says that he isn't a sexual person. During one of our conversations he told me how he had numerous partners that were one night stands for cheap thrills. I know that his number of partners is very high. This makes me feel terrible. Not because I'm jealous of his past or anything, but because I feel like he had so much sex in the past but he won't have sex with me because we're in love. I'm really confused. How can you be a "non-sexual" person but have had so much sex?
I've addressed this with him a few times and even spent days dwelling thinking about it even crying for hours wondering why I can't have him in a sexual way. Like maybe if I was a whore he'd be more interested. He tells me that he was in love with someone in the past and when she left him he was extremely angry and that's how he took out his anger. It's really confusing to me and I don't want to always bring it up to him because I don't want him to think that all I care about is sex (and I don't). What we have is very special and I love him. I don't know how to handle this to help him see its healthy and that when 2 people love each other they can share eachother's bodies without it being cheap. At the same time I need to calm my own mind. I'm driving myself crazy over this and I don't want to ruin what we have which is very special, but let's face it, it's important to feel desired especially by the person you love.
All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.