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how can i relax enough to try sex for the first time?

By November 26, 2009 - 2:35am
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im 21 and have been in a two year relationship, but so far i have not been able to go through with intercourse, i know your thinking wow two years!? is he crazy? we love each other very much were both old souls if you like, and we are intimate in other ways but i just cant get my head in a good place where i wont assume it will be very painful, my anxitey mostly comes from close friends who lost their virginity much younger who said i would find it very painful because i have a low pain thresh hold, which always annoyed me because eversince i have been terrified to try, i really want to be intimate in that way with my partner it is very frustrating, because they find it funny that i cant and dont realise how much thier words are responsible for my problem, plus i feel this tremendous guilt because i havent been able have sex yet even though my boyfriend has been so supportive and understanding but even i think two years is enough for both of us! so the added pressure on myself isnt helping to relax either im so worried that ill never be able to do it and he will eventually say he cant be in a relationship without sex no matter how much he loves me, which i couldnt blame him for at all. i feel like a freak i just want to relax enough that the special moment of it finally happening between us will outweigh the worrys of the possible pain and not knowing what to expect

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EmpowHER Guest

I'm 17 and have been in a 5 year relationship.our's is sincere as he waited for me without contacting me for 4 years...we haven't penetrated till now.but had some sex.he was satisfied with that.but now,he's compelling me to have sex,as he couldn't control himself.many of his friends have it.but ours didn't worked out as we tried few times.he us saying that, he will leave me if this didn't happens.and do whatever for me if it happens.I can't even penetrate as i naturally tighten s my thigh.how is it possible??? Please help me...

April 19, 2017 - 10:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

You don't need to be feeling pressured. If he's saying he'll leave you because you aren't ready then he isn't worth your time. You will know in yourself when you are ready.

October 3, 2017 - 3:28am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

My thigh felt tight too :( i push him away automatically :(

May 20, 2017 - 1:50am
EmpowHER Guest

Hello ,

I am 25 and still virgin i waited such a long time to be sure about my partner and i guess my situation a little worse because i have a relationship since 2010 and he still waiting me :( i feel soo guilty and i feel like i am a horrible women ! I am extremely glad to have a boy like my partner no pressure at all ! He just supporting me but the thing is i cant get relax during sex and i cant move up to next step :(((((

December 20, 2014 - 4:04pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Have you find the solution? I havent :( please tell me if you already success

May 20, 2017 - 1:51am
EmpowHER Guest

thank you so much for your kind words and advice, i really just needed a positive outlook from someone about it and the fact that you say its not painful but just uncomfortable has really really put my mind at rest and given me a little courage! i am very lucky to have my boyfriend he has been so amazing, but sometimes you do need a womens perspective. I am so glad that i found this online community im quite shy about these things and i think so many women who dont have lots of females in the family or friends that would know what to say, could really use this site. i will of course stay in touch :) thank you again for taking the time to help me im so grateful

November 27, 2009 - 2:38am
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