I thought I was the only one with this problem until I found this website, which has made me feel a little better already but hasn't really provided me with an answer to my problem.
I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 23. We have been together for 2 and a half years, although for a large proportion of that time I was living away at University so we only saw each other every other week, except for the holidays when obviously I came home and saw him on a more regular basis. During this time we usually had sex whenever we saw each other and there wasn't a problem. We connect really well as friends as well as in the bedroom, and often have the same desires and want to try the same things.
At the moment however, our sex life isn't so great. In fact it's pretty non-existent. For just over a month now we havn't had sex at all, and for quite a while before hand we only did when I initiated it. Now every time I try to get close to him he'll kiss me once and then practically push me away.
This has happened before towards the start of the year, and we've had arguments about it because it makes me feel horrible. He has never offered me an explanation as to why he randomly seems to go off sex. I know all the usual reasons like stress, dietry change, routine change etc, but his diet and routine havn't changed and he is currently on his summer break from his masters course so he hasn't got work to stress him out. The one thing I know that does stress him is the fact that he doesn't have a job or any money. I have the exact same issue having just graduated, however I seem to be actively trying to get a job whereas although he says he is, I do not see him actually trying. I have offered to look for him, to help him with his CV and applications but he has never asked me to do this either.
He smokes weed, which I know can sometimes have an effect on this too, but he always has and it hasn't ever affected him before.
Additionally, when we first got together we didn't have sex for a while because he was on anti-depressants which I know dull the sex drive, but I also know he isn't on these any more.
So in my opinion, all of the usual reasons for this don't seem to fit exactly. I understand that I probably have a higher sex drive than he does, and I don't expect it all of the time but never is driving me up the wall.
I guess the thing I want the most is advice on how to create intimacy again because I know we can, I just don't know why he doesn't seem to want it. Thanks x
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