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How do I get my wife more comfortable with intercourse and how do I last longer !

By March 15, 2020 - 4:56am
 
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Hi, I'm 30 years old and been married for 3.5 years. My problem comes with intercourse, although my wife feels comfortable with all the foreplay, the moment I go for intercourse she won't agree on any position. she would only go with the typical missionary or her being on top, and more than that even after these years she's still worried and won't go easily with intercourse until after a long time. I do take my time foreplaying and comforting her and she's always happy with that but still having this problem at intercourse, what would you think might be the reason behind that and how can I encourage her on trying other positions?

Also, I have a problem lasting long upon intercourse. I always take my time and try to control my self during foreplay and all that so I can last longer which I somehow manage, however the moment we do manage to intercourse, it would take me a very short time and only a few ins and outs until I ejaculate! Not only my wife wishes I last longer, but I also want to enjoy more! It makes it very difficult for me to enjoy intercourse (although I really want to) for a longer time. This has always been the case for me, not only recently. How can I manage to last longer after intercourse? and is it safe to try to use commercial sprays that are advertised as a proven solution for longer-lasting? If so, do you recommend any as I have no previous experince at all.

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Hello, Jojy! Thank you for posting.

Have you asked her why she is hesitant about trying other positions or intercourse in general? If there is no birth control being used, she might be afraid of getting pregnant. Intercourse might be painful or uncomfortable for her. She might feel awkward or inadequate about trying other positions knowing how much it means to you. Foreplay is important and it's good you are doing that and not rushing through it. Try not to put too much importance on positions if she is already feeling hesitant about intercourse in itself.

For your part, you might be putting too much pressure on yourself about positions and lasting longer and that could cause premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation (PE) is when ejaculation happens sooner than a man or his partner would like during sex. It can be frustrating if it makes sex less enjoyable and impacts the relationship. Causes of PE can be psychological or physical. Below, is some information on PE that can help.

https://www.urologyhealth.org/urologic-conditions/premature-ejaculation

best,
Helena

March 15, 2020 - 6:02am
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