I currently study overseas (in Brazil), and I'm going to be heading back home for one month holiday in July. The last time I was home was from December - March, and I've found it so hard to readjust being back here. I find myself losing patience easily and complaining a lot, and counting down the days until I go home, almost like a prisoner. It doesn't help that I miss my family alot, and I have a boyfriend back home as well that I miss terribly. it's to the point where I think I'm making myself deliberately unhappy because I am not with him, and I hate feeling that way. At the same time I don't want to come across as clingy/needy to him (even though he reassures me various times that he doesn't think so). Also the city that I am in is very dangerous, and I don't feel safe going out most of the time, so I don't have much of a social life (besides hanging out with people in the dorm, playing Uno, etc)
I was held up at gunpoint last weekend here, a group of five men robbed me and my friends, and I didn't lose any of my possessions, but I found myself so traumatized. I cry a lot, and I call my mother various times a day just crying. She tries her best to comfort me, but it doesn't help that I am thousands of miles away from home. It's all I can do to not just pack up everything and go home.
I also found in the last month or so I had a lack of appetite. I already know that every time I get stressed or sad, I don't feel like eating. I've already lost a few pounds, and sometimes I don't eat anything for the whole day except maybe just biscuits or an instant meal. I know it's not healthy, but I can't seem to make myself eat, and if I eat too much, my stomach feels like I will throw up.
I considered going to a psychiatrist but I don't know if that would really help. I think it's that I need to get myself out of this funk, but I'm scared it could possibly turn into depression. I also want to be able to eat properly again. I've signed up at the gym, hoping that it would help feeling better, but sometimes I'm not able to go due to studying or lots of assignments.
How can I make myself feel better again? I'm so tired of being sad.
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