Hurt and dont know how to get over it

By Justagirlintheworld February 1, 2017 - 3:54pm

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What do I do? Im in a relationship with my best friend and he makes me so happy. I grew up in a extreem religious household and realize my reaction is based off growing up. I understand that men have no issues with looking at other women for masturbating. However, for me it feels like cheating. Even worse, Im a recovered anorexic so when I see these perfect naked women. I just want to cry my eyes out. Even thinking about it makes me want to cry now.
I itried to talk with him about it but he just got mad and compared to his previous relationships where they didnt care. They also subsequently cheated on him. Im his first loyal girlfriiend.

I love him with all my heart, but every time he accidentally shows me on his phone because he forgot to kill it out of his history... I dont know how to stop and be ok with it.
Im so heart broken and I feel like no one cares. I cant and wont "make" him do anything. But I dont understand why he doesnt understand why I hurt so deeply.
Please help me. I love him truly and deeply but this puts a barrier between us.