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I dont know what to do?

By August 9, 2010 - 1:54pm
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I read a couple of tex messages out my man phone how he wantd to have sex with them so i askd him about it an he told me that he would stop. Now i dont see anything sexual but he is still texn this female. I try doin freaky things with him buying little outfits, role playn, and been faithful the whole time. What is it with these men they have it all at home but want street trash with diseases. I dont get it he dont cheat on me he do it with his phone so what am i suppose to do?

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There are many men who are trustworthy, want mutually monogamous relationships with one woman, and do not sneak around texting other women.

How old is your boyfriend, and how old are you? How long have you been dating?

It is important to know that there are many men who want healthy relationships with women. They do not want "trash". They want loving, committed, open, honest, healthy, fun, trusting and authentic long-term relationships with one person. If you continue finding these men who want "trash", who sneak around, who text women about sex, is this really the type of relationship you want in your life?

It is important to look at your beliefs and assumptions about "men", and know that this is a stereotype that is harmful to believe in. If you think all men treat women this way, you may never challenge yourself to find a man who does not.

Conversely, if you believe in the stereotype that women must do everything to "keep her man", this is equally harmful. Why would a woman do everything to keep a man who is untrustworthy, cheating (at least on an emotional level), and not want a relationship with both individuals working together to create a loving environment. One person trying everything desperately to "keep" someone else is not in a mutually loving and respectful relationship. Women can find a relationship where they do not feel that they need to be perfect, weigh a certain amount, do sexual things, look perfect, etc in order for the man to not leave. There is no amount of "being perfect" or "pleasing someone" that will work for the long-term.

Use this time to reflect on what a healthy and happy relationship means to you, what qualities in a person you are looking for...and find that person! It may mean being single for a while, and you may discover some great new things about yourself in the meantime!

August 15, 2010 - 9:48pm
EmpowHER Guest

Ive had the same problem, and now hes having less sex with me and doesnt even seem to want me anymore..hes probably cheating. theres definately something wrong. you deserve better. dont settle with this guy if hes not willing to settle down for you. find someone else

August 14, 2010 - 3:49pm
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