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I have been married for over 9 months and I am still unable to help pain free sex with my husband. What do I do?

By Anonymous October 14, 2012 - 7:48am
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We started trying the night of our wedding. after foreplay, he gently tried inserting his penis inside but the pain was intense. we tried this several times but i always felt too much pain and felt that the penis was too big to enter, no matter how turned on I was. we researched and came across a problem called Vaginumus, a condition where the stress and fear of pain causes the woman to stiffen at any attempts at intercourse. After that, as prescribed by online articles on Vaginumus, I tried finger insertion for months to make my body comfortable with penetration. I am able to insert one finger in my vaginal canal without any pain now, but two are still difficult. Penis insertion also causes considerable pain. My husband is able to insert upto an inch after which I feel as if there is a blockage or constriction in the passage which doesn't allow a straight erect penis to enter (i don't experience this problem with my finger since it can turn and curve and is also thinner in width). If we try penetration, even very gently, I feel very sharp pain. This problem is seriously affecting my relationship and I really need some quick help. What can i do to fix this problem?

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  When pain occurs, the woman experiencing dyspareunia may be distracted from feeling pleasure and excitement. Both vaginal lubrication and vaginal dilation decrease. When the vagina is dry and undilated, thrusting of the penis is painful. Even after the original source of pain (a healing episiotomy, for example) has disappeared, a woman may feel pain simply because she expects pain. In brief, dyspareunia can be classified by the time elapsed since the woman first felt it:

  • During the first two weeks or so of symptoms, dyspareunia caused by penis insertion or movement of the penis in the vagina or by deep penetration is often due to disease or injury deep within the pelvis.
  • After the first two weeks or so of symptoms, the original cause of dyspareunia may still exist with the woman still experiencing the resultant pain. Or it may have disappeared, but the woman has anticipatory pain associated with a dry, tight vagina.  
  • You need to speak to your doctor about these symptoms and he can help you find the right treatment.



October 15, 2012 - 6:14am
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