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I never want to do anything or go anywhere?

By February 18, 2015 - 11:52am
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Every time I come home I always think I don't want to go to school or work or hang out with friends. I just want to go home. I wanna be comfortable. I just want to stay in my room and be left alone. I don't feel motivated to do anything. I really just get exhausted from everything that I am doing and just want to be by myself all the time.
I signed myself up for a few things but I regret my decisions. I initially did it to make myself more social and gain new experiences but I just feel like it's a waste of time. I think back to the time I was in high school and I was so motivated, ambitious, and disciplined and now...I've lost all of that completely. I just feel empty. Anything I do feels pointless and being around people is draining.

I don't know how to fix this. I feel like life will be a lot less draining if I was motivated...but I don't even know where to start.

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EmpowHER Guest

How to start to feel better:
1. Detach from thoughts
2. Commit to small actions
I understand and can relate to all these posts in this forum. Lots of pain. Not cut off your arm pain but much worse. Losing your house, dangerous addictions, suicide....that kind of pain. I can't give any solid life changing in a minute advice but I can tell you what kind of worked for me. Kind of, because my life journey is definitely not stellar and is horribly depressing. This is what I did to at least function (pay bills/rent so I am not living under a tarp somewhere, get extra $3 or $4 so I can buy some instant noodles for lunch, etc.). I DETACHED from my thinking. I have found in a depressed state that the mind when left alone will spin faster and faster and very quickly catastrophically crash into mush. Usually for years at a time. Like 80 years is a normal time frame for the human mind. (Joking but not really) You still need cognitive thinking to count change to buy a pack of smokes or cook food so as not to burn/poison yourself or take a dump without getting dirty but as for the constant stream of thoughts....I abandoned it. Abandoned as in DETACHMENT. This cannot be stressed enough! Thoughts will ALWAYS unrelentingly flow through your mind. I detach from my thoughts by imagining them as inanimate clouds drifting through the sky. Formless, light, non-effecting. I just acknowledge them and view them as not mine. Does it work? Sort of. It is a day to day moment to moment thing. Detachment from thoughts sort of took care of the hard part of dealing with the crushing effect of depression. The second and often viewed hardest part is taking action. Action as in anything. Purposefully brushing the teeth, planting a seed in an egg carton, organizing the diaper rack, listening intently to a child without talking for an hour (definitely the hardest). And FORCE yourself to do it. The human mind will NEVER actually want to do any kind of work. At least not in my experience. If left alone me, myself and my mind will sit on the bed all day and stare at a blot on the floor while debating with myself why I don't clean it. My mind is a runaway train and there are no stops. Not a fun train either. Its full of haters always shooting me down telling me I am not good enough, not young enough, too fat, too thin, too stupid, too smart, etc. I have found that this awful train is the same for every single person on this planet. I imagine there are exceptions but few. I hope this helps but I understand if it does not. Depression/Anxiety/OCD etc. are mega fucking serious diseases that turn joyful productive humans into ape scratching nothings. You might be thinking what comes next after the actions you committed? I have no idea. I take it a day at a time trying not to think and ALWAYS stay busy doing something....anything. Thoughts are the enemy. Creating your life daily is a secret key no one tells you about.

August 3, 2017 - 8:58am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Good advice...my mind is wonderful and beautiful and intelligent, but is also my worst enemy. I think too much and do to little, and those thoughts are like yours...kind of negative. I also feel i need to "force" myself to be social. When I do, I always end up enjoying myself, but the whole time my mind is telling me I don't belong there. I don't think I am depressed, because I feel pretty happy in general. But I've always been shy and happiest alone. I wonder if that's just me, or if something is wrong with me. I do not want to come to the end of my life regretting all the wasted time, however, so I am going to take your advice and try to detach from my thoughts. I have never tried that before...I have always given in to them.

September 17, 2017 - 3:07pm
EmpowHER Guest

I have been feeling this way since I lost my husband and it's been 8 years ago, I don't have motivation to do anything or go anywhere and I have a 12 years old son and he is very active boy and he always complaining that he is boring at home but I don't really go out with him and I feel bad when I think about it. I was in school and at the beginning everything was going fine and all over sudden I was lost again. I want to go back and finish my bachelors that is my dream. Is anyone can help me? Thanks in advance.

May 26, 2017 - 11:49am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

If that is your dream, then go for it. Don't waste your life, live your dream or you will regret it.
Think of what you want to make out of your life.
I personally don't even know what I want, it is so depressive. I just live to live, I live but I do nothing at all, I'm just waiting for something to happen because I don't even know what to do, I feel so empty that I only feel numbness. You should be thankful that you have a dream, a desire to do something. Just go for it, thats how you will get out of your depression, that's all I can say to you.

August 21, 2017 - 12:00pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Easier said than done. Just because she has a dream doesn't mean she has the tools to get moving anymore than you or I do.
It's so frustrating when you don't know how to get out of this vicious cycle.
Best of luck to all of you.

September 9, 2017 - 5:51pm
EmpowHER Guest

When I was 14 years old (20 now) my parents separated and that was when my life changed. I wasn't too bothered about them separating.... At least I don't think I was. I never seemed upset about it or anything, I just accepted it. Before this problem I was so active. I was the fittest kid in school, always out with friends getting up to stuff, then that happened in my life and I changed. I stopped going to school at 14 years old and just lived in my bedroom playing the Xbox. I didn't go out with friends or family, didn't even talk to anyone. The only form of communication I had was with my mother or 2 maybe 3 friends on the Xbox. I have never worked, got no grades and I just feel like I would be better off dead than be a waste of space within society. I want to live though, I want to see the future and watch the world change and advance, I want a family and a normal life. I want to work and get money, but I just can't. I can't explain it. I feel empty when It comes to anything. I've tried to go out with people, meet new friends and even excercise, but i don't enjoy it nor dislike it. I kinda suffer from Social Anxiety due to me isolating myself so much, I say kinda because I've been working on fixing it. I did see a doctor about my anxiety and she offered medication but I didn't want to take that stuff, also I tried groups for this problem, even doing something called CBT with a counsellor and nothing helps. I have improved because I was once to anxious to go out the house alone, now I can, but that was me helping myself. Ive tried to changed, but I just feel like I can't change enough to be considered a model citizen or someone who is normal. I feel like I'm just watching someone do nothing with their life through their eyes because deep down I'm screaming at myself to do stuff. I'm not really here for advice, I just want to share this because I've never done so before, but if you do have some advice, please share. Sorry for the long post.

January 27, 2017 - 12:34pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I know how you feel. I suffered from feeling that way most of all of my life. I used to struggle with it everyday, not wanting to anything, or really be anything, but deep down really wanting to come out of the despair. I am not trying to be funny or anything, but Jesus Christ really did save my life. I don't know how He did, but He did. He gave me a purpose, hope, and a future. And though I dont deserve it He loves me despite myself and has changed my life. He can do the same for you too.

July 7, 2017 - 3:17pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Jesus had nothing to do with it- you just used him as a catalyst to guilt yourself into getting off ya bum and getting on with it.... (its ok Jesus designed it to be this way) , if you really read his teachings the clever bugger has the most of us only motivated by guilt! Dont discredit yourself and pat yourself on the back (love yourself) for making the most out of this presence you are given...

October 6, 2020 - 6:16pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I'm 57 years old and I don't recall ever having depression to ever bother me, but the last three months I've been so depressed I feel immobilized, helpless, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. I lost my job and after not working and receiving benefits the depression came out of nowhere, it's like I can't get motivated and I even have a prescription of Adderall and that doesn't even seem to get me motivated but I did hear something from this last post that brought forth hope, and that was when this last post mentioned Christ, so that's what I'm going to do is go back Church church and pray! God bless each one of y'all please pray for me and I will pray for y'all!

June 14, 2019 - 5:04pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I am not a Doctor. I lost my son, two years ago this upcoming April 2, 2017. Maybe you should try the medication. Have you thought about becoming a school bus monitor with special needs kids. You get paid, your on and off the clock, so you have breaks and it is very rewarding working with these kids. You can choose High School or Elementary level kids. You may need a GED to get this job but it's a goal you can work toward. Your smart enough to play Xbox, then you can get a GED. LOL and good luck.

February 27, 2017 - 2:44pm
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