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i wanna know whether i am a virgin or not?

By July 24, 2009 - 7:29am
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i am 21 years old.i had sex with my boy friend last month.this is the first time i had sex and i dont have any knowledge about having sex.i was not likely to do sex with him because i wanted to be a virgin until our marriage but i had to do sex because of my boy friend's force.while doing sex i didnt even stretch my legs too wide.i didnt even understand whether his stick went into my vagina n tore my virginity layer or not.we just had sex for 5 to 10 minutes.after dat i had slight pain in my vagina are for nearly half an hour or so and then i was totally normal.after a few days i got urinary infection.is this infection due to having sex or is it normal?i got my periods also as usual for 32 days.now my question is i dont know whether we had sex properly and whether i lost my virginity or not.now i wanna know whether i am still a virgin or not.how can i know

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EmpowHER Guest

hi wonder girl,
i am 23yrs old,..1st time when had sex with my boyfriend i found some bleeding.so this tells that i lost my virginity.now i am going to get married,my husband is very particular about virginity and he wants me to see bleeding,.i cant tell him that i had sex in past...how can i manage him for my 1st ngt.

July 9, 2013 - 7:04am

hello :) i dont know if im a virgin or if i was born without a hymen, i used to masturbate alot and finger myself bt i never had a problem inserting a finger or two in,as long as i can remember ihv had a loose vagina,am i a virgin? did i lose it when i fingered myself? how can i knw i was born without it? :\

October 9, 2012 - 5:27am
EmpowHER Guest

Hello ,
I read above Questions and Answers.
I am having sex with my bf for past 4 years. Even i Got Pregnant and Got abortion after 3 months.This happened two years Before. I used to do sex twice a week. We stay a night and do sex 3 times. Now, I got break up with my BF and I am thinking about future.
My Question is: If my parents get me married after 3 years in future. and will my Husband know I had sex before.
Please Answer the Question considering All the situation, My size of Vagina, Changes after 3 years in future, 4 yeas Sex, Abortion 2 year before, No layer....
I am Waiting for ur Reply...

June 15, 2011 - 9:58pm
EmpowHER Guest

hi,where i live i should stay virgin until my marriage night.But me and my fiance we had sex.and we were thinking that i should have the layer back before our wedding night (traditional reasons). so is there any way i can have this Virginity layer back??

January 17, 2011 - 4:49am

Hi wondergirl, Thanks for taking the time to write us and I also agree with the comments above. If you are in the United States, I would follow the great advice the other women have shared about contacting the authorities.

If you are not in the United States, I wanted to share some resources with you from the International Center for Research on Women which works on behalf of women's rights in several countries. They should be able to assist you with resources and provide guidance on the best way to handle the situation specific to your location, which may or may not include contacting the authorities.

Here is their information:

International Center for Research on Women
1120 20th St. N.W.
Suite 500 North
Washington, D.C. 20036
Phone: (202) 797-0007
Fax: (202) 797-0020
E-mail: info@icrw.org

Asia Regional Office
C – 139 Defence Colony
New Delhi – 110024
Phone : 91-11-2465-4216
Fax : 91-11-2463-5142
E-mail: info.india@icrw.org

Project Office
International Center for Research on Women
361, 1st Floor
East Marredpally
Secunderabad 500026
Andhra Pradesh, India
Phone: 91-40-6590-6252
E-mail: nandu@icrwindia.org

Project Office

International Center for Research on Women

101-102, Ist Floor, C – Wing, Mangalmurti Complex,
Chikuwadi, Mankhurd,
Mumbai, India – 400043.
P: 91-22–25505-718 & 19

Project office
International Center for Research on Women
Plot 7 Wampewo Ave.
P.O. Box 7280
Kampala, Uganda
Phone: 256 41-345591
Fax: 256 41-345602
E-mail: XMahlalela@icrw.org
U.S. Contact: Linda Sussman

You may also find information contained in this article helpful as well.

If your country is not listed here, please let us know where you live and we will do whatever we can to find further resources for you. You have our support here. Hope to hear back from you soon.

July 24, 2009 - 2:47pm

Wonder Girl-

I just want to reiterate the advice that Susan has given you. You did not have sex with someone who you wanted to have sex with, you were raped and forced into having unwanted sex. No matter what, any form of sex that is not consensual (meaning that BOTH of you wanted to AND chose to do) is rape.

At this point the most important thing to do is get help and get out. Go to anyone that you can trust and ask them to help you. Press charges, get medical attention and explain your situation when you go.

Nothing you did was wrong, you were scared and rightfully so.

Please, please keep us updated.

July 24, 2009 - 11:42am
Expert HERWriter

Dear Wonder Girl,

I am so glad that you found the website and that you posted your question here. You are such a brave woman to share your story with us. From reading your story, I had the same reaction as Susan C. I don't believe you "had sex" either; I believe you were raped.

I am concerned about you and I want to help you very much, but in order to give you the best possible advice I really need to know what country you live in. Could you please write back and let us know where you live? Is the fact that you may no longer be a virgin a main concern of women where you live? We are all here for you and will help you out as best we can. Big hugs to you, Michelle

July 24, 2009 - 11:39am
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