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If you and your husband are out on the town partying and you have been drinking and he gives you a drug that causes you to black out and when you come to he is letting some man have intercourse with you is this rape?

By Anonymous June 7, 2009 - 7:45pm
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I was married for 19 years. Throughout my marriage my ex husband always had an addictive behavior. He wanted me to have sex with woman, threesomes, etc.. I said no up to the last 3 years of our marriage. We started going out more and I would drink, he would drink sometimes but because he claimed to be an alcoholic most of the time he was sober. He would want me to pick up a girl. I had a problem doing this because I didn't want him to have sex with someone, I didnt want to really do it.. I had to drink until I could even think about it. I got angry and asked him how he would like it if I wanted to do it with a man.. He said fine to my surprise.. I didn't think he would actually go through with it. I hoped he wouldn't but we did. We had a threesome with a man.. I was completely devestated afterwards. I thought he must truly hate me to want this. We constantly went out! He started getting drugs of all kinds for me to take. He continued to manipulate me into doing sexual things as he wanted. I stayed pretty messed up.. I had never done drugs before this time. At this point I wanted them to dull the pain. There were many times we would be out and he would say here take this so you can chill and we can have fun. I was intimidated and afraid not to take it. Many times I would not even remember the night. Many times I would come to from being blacked out and there would be a man having sex with me and my ex husband watching and telling him what to do. I would say stop it, why do you do this.. I was to out of it to do anything. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I told him that I thought he had raped me over and over but he said that no he didn't that I had asked for it. I would tell him that he was crazy that he had stuffed pills down my throat until I blacked out and then let this happen.. He said I would just look like a whore and that no one would even listen to me. I eventually filed for a divorce giving him everything just to get away from him. During the seperation and even after the divorce he stalked, harrassed me, attacked me, got arrested and the police called on him more than once by me. After many threats and scary moments I finally decided to stand up for myself even if it turned out bad. I don't know where to start with this but I know its not right what he did to me. I want to know what a woman can do about a situation like this? Can you press charges against your ex husband for rape even after you are divorced?

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Anonymous (reply to Alison Beaver)

I live in Texas.

June 8, 2009 - 11:10am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Alison Beaver)

I am in a home right now that I bought. Since the divorce and me moving on my ex husband has threatened me several times that he was going to take all the money I have by sueing me over and over, that he would get custody of my children, and that he would keep making me pay for what I owe him. In his mind he thinks things that are not right. Even with clear evidence etc. he doesnt see things the way everyone else see it.. I moved on after being divorced a year. That's when he started stalking, harrassing, sueing me... I know its because I started dating a man that is very wonderful and my kids liked him. After that the second set of bad stuff started happening. He has gone through with his threats sueing me, getting my daugher, not my son though. He is a manipulater like you would not believe. I asked the courts several times to make him stop sueing me and to leave me alone but the courts don't care. I just gave up after my daughter, but I just cant do nothing anymore. My daughter has turned into a monster. I don't even know her anymore. The few times I talk to her she is angry, mean, and hates me because of the way her father has turned her against me. My heart breaks knowing she is hurting so bad and I'm doing nothing.. I cant do anything to get her or help her... She doesnt need to be with him. The legal fees of lawsuit after lawsuit have added up.... I am at a point that I haven't done anything to fight back because of the legal amount of money I have already had to go through. I cant keep paying to defend myself so I have agreed to whatever his attorney has bullied me into signing. I have signed over a company we had together that was started with my money etc. We had it for 18 years and made great money. I gave up so much to him so he would just leave me alone.. but he didn't. He wins over and over... thats why I'm afraid to do anything about the rape. I'm afraid I would end up regretting it.

June 8, 2009 - 11:07am
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