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Is it really because he wants to take things slow?

By Anonymous January 28, 2012 - 1:54am
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My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a month now and we have not yet had sex. He says it is because he wants to take things slow. He hasn't been with anyone or had sex for over three years and it has been five months for me. I am just asking if this is normal because I am new to this whole taking it slow thing. We are living together only because of certain situations and that will change once I have a job and am on my feet. To be honest, I am dealing with a really nasty divorce with a man I left over a year ago. He was very abusive and manipulative and this is the first relationship I have been in that isn't and I don't have a man trying to get into my pants all the time. Is this normal? We make out a lot and I have given him a hj once, but that is about it. Please help me understand because I feel like a moron.

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EmpowHER Guest

Thank you, thats what I was thinking. Like I said, I have never had a relationship this good so it makes me happy to know he is being honest!

January 28, 2012 - 8:46am

Hi Anonymous,

A month is not a very long time to be dating someone. In the adult world, somebody started the idea that we have to give it up by the third date-- but, personally, I think adults ought to be a bit more selective about the people they're going to have sex with too-- not just our teens. 

I think for a man to tell you that he wants to take things slow with you means that he really likes you and doesn't want you to get the wrong idea. Some women have been scorned by men who, instead of wanting to start a relationship with them, just want to have sex with them. So, take it as a compliment and as a sign of how much he really likes you-- if he no longer wanted to see you, he wouldn't be calling anymore.

All the best in your relationship,


January 28, 2012 - 6:01am
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