To know if he is truly having an affair or just stressed and not wanting to have sex?

By Anonymous December 21, 2010 - 8:41am

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I have been with my fiance for 8 years and we have had a lot of ups and downs. He is very bitter at me for a lot of things and I have made him my whole world as he once wanted and now I believe I have lost all respect from him. He sees me now as weak and needy I believe. I also a year ago accidentally picked up a voice recorder and to my suprise found a recording of what to me truly sounded like him having sex with another female. Since then I have been noticing a lot of things, i.e. trying to get me to leave the house at the same time every day, always wanting to go into the city on Friday to visit his mother. I have placed a recorder just this am to my suprise I hear our hotel door open right after I left to go pick up our daughter and then a bunch of wispering and then some other sounds that I think might be....and then a alarm like on a phone go off and then the door opens and closes about 3 minutes before we come in. My fiance says its all in my head and I am nuts. He keeps finding every negative thing he possibly can about me but then tells me he is commited to me for the life thing. However he keeps telling me now that it is not time to get married. I have known this man for 22yrs and he has been the love of my life. I am sooo devestated, confused, alone, hurt, and have become severely depressed. He is only coming down on me that much harder because he says that the only thing that I am focused on is finding him cheating and that I am self-sabitoshing our relationship and that he is so deaply hurt by all my "accusations" that this is why he doesn't want to be intimate with me. I have only tried to ask him about these tapes to make sense of what I am hearing because it sounds just like he is having sex with another. I will let it go for awhile but I get no nurturing or affection and after a few days of this I start to look for clews again........I hate this place I am in...I just want to rekindle my relationship and make him interested in me once again. He just looks down upon me for everything says I do nothing for him and do not respect him and a bunch of other negative things that I could go on and on about. Can someone help me try and save my relationship or is it to late? Oh another thing he is constantly saying things to me that make me feel insecure about him leaving me at any moment because he says I am something that I am not because I have made a few mistakes in the past...never to be repeated! Someone please help an aching soul in Alaska.............

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Mrs. Burton

Young lady get yourself to gather, wake up and smell the coffee. after 8 years. {some times} If a man have not marry you, 9 times out out of 10 he's not going to. like I said: some times God turn that person heart around and he'll do the right thing.if you don"t have respect for yourself, why do you think he is going to give it to you also. you got to love yourself before you can love some one else. most of all, seek a (truth, true, & true) God fearing man. for you can have all the sex you want from your own husband the right way. while you seeking love, are your daughter getting all of you all love.

December 21, 2010 - 1:47pm