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my boy friend masturbation habits are becoming a serious problem

By Anonymous May 6, 2016 - 8:01pm
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Both my boyfriend and myself have high sex drives. he has definetly turned me down more times than i have him. that is not a problem for me what is is the choice of masturbation over me or over basic respect. we may have sex 3 times a day or 1 but always every day unless i am menstrating. we have other problems including the fact that verytime we fight he kicks me out.
when his masturbation first became a problem was when i was being woken up to a violent shaking of the bed. i discussed it with him but there was no change. we then began mutual masturbation or where i would simply kiss him while he took care of himself. he always must do it himself and he doesnt much like oral. despite my talking to him and trying different things, i am still awaken to violent shaking. i tried explaining that that in itself is super annoying but alas i keep losing sleep and being shunned. recently after a great couple rounds my birthday i woke up to him mastubating again. now i was definetly mad considering it was my damned bday. now a week later, about an hour after sex i was awaken again but i went to sleep on the couch bc honestly im exhausted and over it, we didnt speak much today and around dinner time we started goofing around being sillyand i was hoping we could talk again or maybe just have a normal night but he was quickly off to play vid games on his computer like he does all day every day, abruptly at 10 pm (which is very early for him) he went into the bedroom, took care of himself and went to bed without me.....ive tried to be accomadating and understanding but do i get no understanding back? am i asking for something i shouldnt be? i am extremly open sexually and there have been no physical changes in me to lose his interest. am i being a crazy gf? or are my feelings of thinking this relationship may not work justified? please help

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Hello and welcome to EmpowHer,
Your feelings towards his action are completely justified and not crazy at all!
Your boyfriend's masturbation habits mirror the symptoms of Compulsive Masturbation Disorder. Or if he masturbates about 20 times a week, it could be Chronic Masturbation Disorder which is slightly different.
Both disorders are a destructive force in relationships. People who have the disorder often isolate themselves instead of acknowledging they have a problem and seeking help. So, the fact that your boyfriend often shuts you out is also a red flag he may have one of these disorders.
You did not cause this, or do anything wrong. It's a problem he has probably had for a long time. And his disorder will most likely end the relationship if he does not seek help soon.
I've pasted a couple links below. The information will help you understand him better and may help you find your next step.
Compulsive Masturbation Disorder:
Chronic Masturbation

I hope that helps! Let us know how it goes.

May 7, 2016 - 11:43am
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