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my boyfriend is pushing me away but tells me he loves me

By August 24, 2009 - 12:58am
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Ok we were friends for a year but then we both fell in love and started to date. we really did not spend time together the first 9months we had sex after we were 4 months together we used condoms until the 10 month august 21 2002 this is his b day ok jan 2003 i got preagnet and we had a baby girl and he denied the baby cause we never will spend time together. see i came from a previous relationship and was force to marry this boy at the time cause he got me preagnet i have a ten year old child now. well i walked out on my 10yrs father cause he cheated on me and did not care how i felt i left never went back and that was 2000. when i meet the man iam withi told him everything but when we were friends so he throws that in my face he tells me go with your husband bitch. ok gets better four years past and we had a baby girl in 2007. thats when it all went down he started putting his hands on me and talk bad to me in front of are three girls. i forgot to tell u I am 25 he just turn 33 aug 21. anyways i saw a change in him he started accusing me i was cheating when i dont go anywhere i dont i cant go to my moms cause he tells me i like being in the streets i workd since we have been friends i always had a job this man was always in out of jail i was ther for him i even got a second job to add money to his books so he would eat and pay are bills so when he came out he have a home. we he started not coming till the next day i would worry cause i did not want to get that call that he is in jail. well in Nov.2008 he beat me so bad i left but i came back two weeks later he did not come home till five inthe morning and he was so drunk he went straight to bed i went in his pants to get the keys and i found a camera with 15 pics taken i confronted him and he got so scared and said its nothing is me and the boys yeah right 15 pics of just the boys well i gave him the benefit of the dought. well he hits me i left did not come back and on my birthday Jan.10,20009 he text me bitch go the apt. and there is pics that is proof i cheated on u. Well i came i saw this walgreens photo package but there was negatives i saw her i went crazy i felt betrayed i even felt dirty myself cause i was with this man at the time. He made me feel like shit my stomach was turning and my heart was taken and steped on. well i started to drink beer something i never could get use to i wake up early take the kids to school start to drink i messsed up are apt. bad he got so scared that he had moved out the sameday he reveld the pics well i moved back with the kids cause is under my name not his. Well that was seven months ago and its not getting better . I went looking for this girl well i was on a mission cause she looked like a low class person well i found her one night i was drinking but cause i study her face i grabed her and told her that i knew it all what my man and her did she was confuse i showed her the pics and she said his name i told her i dont want to hurt u but i need to know what happen she said i did that cause he said he was sending his brother pics in jail. but he is seeeing my friend well he denied the whole thing with her friend i get a hold of her address on anywho.com and i called her and said if she did not call me back i would show up at her address she calledd me back fast and i ask how do you know my man she said we had sex three times you know what i was feeling like my life was over and there was no fixing that i ask him he was saying she was making it up. look to get this story short he is still doing what he does we have sex and he pushes me off he tells me he hates me why cant i leave and why dont i get it he dont love me anymore i am worthless i am just young and need a boy my age i mean he says the meanest things to me but then he tell me he did not meanwhat he said and he wants me in his life forever and i fall for it u dont understand this man has and is my only true love i never been in a relationship were he had loved me back and made me feel like a woman now he makes me feel like if he is seeing someone we can go days not talking to eachother i sleep int he front and he has the bed in the room. He tells me that i push him when he does the pushing away and he has mood swings like this morning he calls me out of my name but the afternoon he tells me he loves me and at night he wants to hurt me and he locked the room door and here iam asking you what can i do

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Deep breath.

Lizzy, this is not your true love. It's not. This isn't how true love goes. What this is is a relationship between a controlling man and a woman that he wants to control.

Your relationship with this man is full of drama, which is not good for you and not good for your girls. Why do you think you won't leave him? Are you able to get a job? Is there anywhere else you could live?

You have been in an abusive relationship for so long that you may not even realize it anymore. But this is not normal and it's not right. Not one thing about it is right. Not one thing. You are sweet and loving and loyal, but it's still not getting you anywhere. That's what happens in a relationship where it is all about control.

If he hits you, that is assault. It is a crime. It is domestic abuse. It is not love or anything close. You need to get some counseling and some help to get out of the situation. If you or one of your girls are in immediate danger, you need to call 911.

Do you need help finding somewhere to take your girls and go? Do you feel worried for your girls? Are they safe just being around him, or does the abuse happen to them, too? Please tell us what city and state you live in, and we can help you find a safe place to go for shelter and help.

You can also go to the web page or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline, where they will help you find somewhere you and your girls could go:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Does any of this help? Do you feel like you have options? Do you have other family or friends that would help you leave if you told them what was going on?

August 25, 2009 - 8:26am
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