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Hi,
Yesterday I found that my boyfriend had been watching porn and I know that its his life and his choice but as he was watching porn with women so different to myself I felt quite hurt. I tried to say nothing and then after dinner and a few drinks I couldn't help but tell him that I felt hurt and I wanted to ask him if he was watching these woman as he wanted to be with someone like that. It turned into an argument and escalated and he came out and told me that he doesn't think that I am a sexual person (but that he loves me so much) and that its been so much 'hotter' with other girls as they will prance around naked for him.
I will admit that I have an issue with my body and dont get naked without feeling very embarrassed and I probably need to address that but I am always the one initiating sex and if it wasn't for me we wouldn't have it as often as we did. I feel so hurt as I have been trying to be a more sexual person as I have always known that I can be quite shy and I think I also feel so hurt as in this relationship I have been a lot more open sexually and he i still ripping into me- but is our relationship going too be able to go forward now I know how he feels about me? Is it also going to be able to go forward if he has a love for porn and I hate that he watches it (I dont want to be the woman who tells him what to do).
Thanks
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Hi Hanay,
Thank you for your question and welcome to EmpowHer.
Porno in a relationship could be either a good thing or a bad thing. It appears from your story, this is affecting your feelings in a negative way. The best thing for you to do is talk to him about your feelings and perhaps joining in viewing the porno with him may relieve your indiscretions.
The most important thing about your story is how you feel about yourself. Why do you feel uncomfortable naked? I think the majority of women in this world would change something about themselves and that’s fine but to feel comfortable with yourself is very important. No matter what your size is, if you feel comfortable with yourself, you will find that you have more confidence in the bedroom.
In response to your questions, please review this site about raising self confidence https://www.empowher.com/community/share/building-self-confidence.
As for the porno issue, here is another site that you can read some comments from others that have dealt with the same issues, perhaps some responses will help your situation https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/my-husband-has-porn-addiction-should-i-let-him-take-pictures-me?allcomments=yes.
I hope this information helps and good luck.
March 6, 2011 - 9:20amMissie
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