My boyfriends addicted to porn, but is on the road to recovery. Is it a bad idea for us to do anything sexual?

He has not sought professional help yet. He has simply started by reading a lot about his problem and writing in a journal. Also by talking to me and explaining exactly how he is feeling. We do plan to attend a group meeting and/or therapy sessions. The main problem is that he recently moved to the UK and this makes our problem a lot more difficult since I do not get to see him often. With our schedules and the 8 hour time difference sometimes it's difficult to even call each other. Because of the addiction he decided to come to the US as soon as possible so we can actually be face to face and go to group sessions together, at least in the beginning.

As far as his treatment plan is concerned, I'm not sure if it involves sex. We've both talked about it and both want to, but don't know if it's too soon. Since I have not even seen him recently I'm not sure if I'll feel comfortable doing anything sexual, but I want to be prepared in case I do. Although,the fact that I will not probably see him again until Christmas time makes me want to take advantage of the time we will soon have together.

Hi nattie,

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Is your boyfriend seeking treatment? If so, what does the physician say about intimacy? If he is struggling with the addiction without treatment, this is some information for you.

Addiction to pornography is pretty common. The best position your in right now, is that he came to you and is admitting that there is an issue. The biggest problem with any addiction is moving forward away from the addiction.

Addicts to pornography are desensitized to reality. They live in a television set (computerland) of lust. There is no intimacy and certainly there are issues when the pornography involves children, rape, incest, and bestiality. There is clearly a disconnect from legality when it comes to the type of pornography.

Seeking help, having a support system and trying to rebuild relationships is very important at this time. There is hope that the addiction will not consume his life. You can be his backbone and support system but ultimately, he will have to fight this battle. Most people who are addicted to pornography find a disconnect from engaging in relationships and life so understanding more about the addiction is a great tool for you.

Here is a website for self help centers by State
http://www.addictionselfhelp.com/

Here are more sites to help you become more informed about the addiction:
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/pornography-addiction.php

http://www.recoverynation.com/

http://www.curethecraving.com/

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm

As for your question about sex, does he have a treatment plan? Is sex a part of his treatment plan? If you can answer that question, I may be able to better answer that question since getting back into meaningful relationships is a great step in the right direction.

I hope this information helps you. It is going to be a process but please keep us informed on his progress. You are not alone and you could certainly help other women by sharing your story on EmpowHer.