Facebook Pixel

My boyfriends sex drive has decreased since he became a cop. How can I help him??

By August 5, 2010 - 3:32pm
Rate This

My boyfriend of two and a half years became a police officer in January of this year. He works a 12 hour night shift from 6:30pm-6:30 am. Before he started he was doing P90X and was getting into really good shape, but now that hes working he barely has time to sleep, much less workout. He also has started to eat very unhealthy since most of the time he has to grab something quick due to a busy night. Some nights he will go his entire 12 hour shift with no food or even a break. On top of all that I will find him spaced out sometimes. When I ask him what hes thinking about he usually answers "work" or refers to a specific call he recently went to.

I am writing all of this because our sex life has gone down hill dramatically. I feel like I'm twisting his arm to try to get him aroused. We had sex maybe 4 times in July when it use to be every other day and two. I try not to be disappointed but sometime he can tell I am upset about it, which only makes the situation worse. I have tried to buy some simple vitamins (Mainly B12) and encouraged him to workout, but his dedication to them fluctuates because of his constant fatigue.
We currently dont live together, since our schedules are so different, but would it be a good idea to move in? He has asked me but I just didnt want to bother him too much since he sleeps during the day and I am a student.
His attitude and personality have changed, but nothing to indicate any mental illness. I do worry about him developing depression since he always feels too tired to do anything.

I dont want to smother him, but I want to help. Hes the most wonderful man I have ever met. Hes disgustingly loyal and hes my best friend. Please help me. I just want both of us to be happy again.

Add a Comment1 Comments

Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

We have a long thread on this topic - more than 600 comments - which will provide advice and insight from many women. You can find it at: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore

August 6, 2010 - 5:19pm
Enter the characters shown in the image.
By submitting this form, you agree to EmpowHER's terms of service and privacy policy
Add a Comment

All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

Sex & Relationships

Get Email Updates

Resource Centers

Sex & Relationships Guide

HERWriter Guide

Have a question? We're here to help. Ask the Community.


Health Newsletter

Receive the latest and greatest in women's health and wellness from EmpowHER - for free!