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My Husband is wonderful. He would never cheat, and he even tells me that I am all he fantasizes about. I believe him when he says that he loves me and thinks I am beautiful. I do not think that will change after him looking at another naked woman.
When we started dating in high school, I was the only woman he had ever seen(in person) or touched. We are both each others only sexual partners, and I have never seen another naked woman or man (other than my mother and my husband).
He has already done two nude model drawing classes, the first- a female, he was not expecting and he was shocked and worried about how I would react. I have come to terms with that. The second was a male and he felt more comfortable with that because he had already talked to me about the first.
He is going to have to draw both male and female models again this year. And I do understand that it is just art. And as he says they may as well be just a statue. He has no feelings for them as he doesn't know them.
But I am still finding it hard, now I know in advance, that he is going to be in the same room with a naked women, admiring her body, her curves, drawing her. I keep thinking about it and it keeps winding me up. Then there will be the permanent reminder of yet another women he has seen naked. He will have to look over the pictures, fix them up, and post them on the interned for marking.
I don't know why this bothers me as I know he will take it for what it is; an art class. But I feel that if you have a partner, that nudity is something that you entrust to only them. It is part of what separates your relationship to them, from your relationship to your best friends. I was far more comfortable with the idea of nudity with others, until me and my husband got serious. And I guess it just bothers me that he will be sharing this sacred experience with someone other than me. Which I know makes no sense because it is art, but it is still so raw.
I want to stop worrying because he has to do this for his degree, and I love him and don't want to make him feel guilty. I just can't seem to rationalize it anymore than I have and I can't make this feeling in the pit of my stomach go away.
Any advice or other opinions would be greatly appreciated.
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Add a Comment40 Comments
I see no reason why drawing ones partner wouldn't be as interesting. You can get them to dress up a little, or use cloth and drape it, have fun with the new roles.
It's not really sexy persay as your still focused on getting the drawing right, but it can be erotic, and lots of fun!
Me and my hubby tried it, and it's kind of nice having the drawings there, seeing yourself through their eyes, seeing the details they were admiring ;). And still a human body that they can practice from.
May 31, 2010 - 7:47amThis Comment
On the contrary, I actually think that drawing someone you know makes it more than a drawing exercise. For instance, you mention that it "can be erotic" -- this isn't something that happens when you are simply drawing an anonymous nude model.
And artists need body types of all sizes and shapes and ages -- not to mention both genders -- to draw from. In one Life Drawing class I had, which met twice a week, we had a different model for almost every class during the semester. Men, women, older, younger, overweight, skinny, short hair, long hair, different races, different faces and everything in between. It's nothing but learning, and practice.
June 1, 2010 - 9:24amThis Comment
I'm happy for you but my husband thinks that the nude is the only way to portray art. Clothes will not do. Its good that your husband is interested in doing this with you.
May 31, 2010 - 8:39amThis Comment
The was I see it is your husband is being selfish. What about artist who only do landscapes, or those that do flowers or buildings? Is the Mona Lisa not art? No nudity in that!
He does it because he enjoys that type of art, which fine, but not with strange women he finds of the street and not in your house!
He is putting his wants over your needs, needs being a sence of comfort with your home and what happens in it. This is important and I don't think art is an excuse to ignore this!
Tell home to go to community art classes or rent a space to use. If he is not willing then he really doesn't take his art seriously!
June 9, 2010 - 11:32pmThis Comment
Anon,
That's a pretty big judgment for someone you don't know. Artists in schools across the world are required to take Life Drawing as part of their curriculum. A student who takes this class, follows the curriculum and tries to learn classical forms of life drawing in the pursuit of a degree is simply that -- an art student. It is later when artists decide to follow particular forms of art, be they landscapes, figures, realistic or abstract. Simply taking a class required for a degree is not taking a moral stand.
June 11, 2010 - 8:22amThis Comment
My response was to the lady who's husband draws nude friends at home as a hobby. Not to the original poster.
June 22, 2010 - 4:39pmThis Comment
Anon,
I see now. Sorry for misunderstanding! And by the way, I agree with you.
June 23, 2010 - 9:02amThis Comment
That would be good but its not interesting enough and we get older and fatter. They have access to so many willing participants.
May 31, 2010 - 6:59amThis Comment
i feel bad that this situation makes you unhappy. as an artist..we often use unpaid friends and acquaintances as models ...young and willing to pose in the nude should not be a problem...unless the problem is your partner. if the two of you are committed to each other, if you love and trust each other...then his being in the same room as a naked woman should not be an issue...if you trust him...drawing naked people does not lead to touching and willing to pose in the nude does not mean willing to have sex....if your partner is a young, struggling and probably poor artist, there is not much scope for him but to bring models home...as he cannot afford a studio, and probably not paid models either. I think what you have to try is deciding if you trust him or not, and if you do...relax and be as supportive as you can...if you cannot..perhaps you need to rethink your partnership. one other thing...do you really think things are going to happen between him and his models there in your home?? i have always been more worried about the things that might or might not happen elsewhere or out of town...and then i realized thatworry isn't going to change anything or make me happier...so i have learned to live with what comes...or doesn't happen, which is more to the point. all the best to you...i hope for happiness and less stress for both of you...
May 22, 2010 - 11:16amThis Comment
to the woman whose husband brings models home...if the models are essential to his work, fine...but as it is the home you share..you have every right to ask him not to..if it makes you unhappy...perhaps he needs a studio, either at home or elsewhere to do his painting...as an artist i know it is often best if you can have a space that is seperate...even if attached or part of your house...a space where the house itself does not intrude...i have my studio now in a bedroom we do not use...fitted for me and no children or cats allowed...works great...
May 22, 2010 - 10:18amThis Comment