My husband and I seemed like the perfect couple to everyone. We both liked the same things, both sociable and we were in love. After a year we had a baby, somehow since the baby was born we kind of drifted apart sexually. I'd initiate sex, he'd always say no, until the point I blamed myself because on some pounds during the pregnancy. Within a couple of months after giving birth, I worked out and achieved a flat stomach and an even better body than when I was single, except for my boobs. they, as most moms boobs have, sort of deflated from a C cup to a B (flat). But aside from that I looked great. 2 more years of a sexless marriage despite me getting advances from many men, I worked in media and so I was always in the public eye. It depressed me that the one man I wanted to want me didn't. So I confronted him one night and asked what was wrong. He pointed out that he no longer found me attractive, that my boobs had become ugly after the baby and that he had been jerking to porn all those hundreds of times I would initiate sex. I often cried myself to sleep those night. Even developed insomnia without getting myself drunk so I could not think about it at night. I seriously wanted to leave him, but my love for my baby, made me decide to give it a shot. I got a boob job (that he paid), From a 36B, I am now a 36 DD. I am petite, maintained my slim physique, but still he can't get it up for me when we try to have sex. I have lost so much of my self confidence because of this. I have lost who I am in trying to change myself to please him so I can keep our marriage. But now, I no longer know if I can keep doing this. I am plagued by worry, insomnia and sporadic anger at him that I try to suppress for the sake of our child. He has apoligised for what he has done to me and tells me constantly that he loves me, but I am really stating to fall apart from feeling so ugly even after going under the knife and going to the gym everyday to stay fit and slim. What would you do if you were me? Please, any comments would help. I just really need to hear someone's opinion, and really just need to let this all out.
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