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I'm 25 years old as is my husband. My husband of over 2 years just walked in and doesn't want to be with me anymore and says he has been miserable for months. I still love him and he says he still loves me but doesn't want to be with me. We have been together 10 years and are a younger couple but he doesn't want to try to fix our relationship or himself. He says he is unhappy and depressed and thinks that if we get a divorce it will be better for everyone.i do not agree. I think we both need help but he refuses and says his mind is made up and there is no changing it.
Help!
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Hi Anonymous,
I know...oh how I know that feeling so well. I am assuming from the long relationship, he is your first love...your first everything. I remember fighting telling him to understand that I loved him dearly. I think the problem was that we were growing up, becoming adults together from children and we just no longer were on the same page in the book of life. The BEST thing about it was we became great great friends in the long run and I always ran to him for advice later in life.
I really wish you both the best but in the interim, please feel free to contact me anytime. Stay strong and positive. Do yourself a great favor and be sure to workout or do something to keep yourself busy and to do something positive for you...EVERYDAY!
December 11, 2010 - 11:16amBest wishes,
Missie
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Hi Anonymous,
December 11, 2010 - 10:31amI was married very young, myself. I was 19 and divorced by 22. I am now 33 years old and looking back from the time I divorced to the person I am now... is completely two different people. Have faith in yourself that this may work or that this may not work but you are still very young and can accomplish many things including a new relationship, marriage, kids etc. You have many great years ahead of you regardless of the outcome. I wish you the best and completely understand where you are right now.
Take care,
Missie
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Thank you Missie,
December 11, 2010 - 10:47amI appreciate your words and that you made it through a similar situation. I just can't believe he can give-up on our relationship when we've been together for so long and through so much. I still deeply love and care for him. He is my life and was my future. We had so many goals and dreams and he just forgot.
I am trying really hard to give him some space and hope that he realizes he misses me or still wants me in his life. He isn't planning on doing anything legal or filing even until next year so maybe some time apart will help.
It's so hard for me to just sit on my hands and not be fighting for him and trying to convince him that we are good together and that we do still make each other happy.
:(
This Comment
Dear Anon,
I'm very sorry you're going through this. It does seem that therapy for both of you may help. However, if he doesn't want help then it may be that he has already fallen out of love and doesn't want to hurt you by actually saying the words "I don't love you" or he may simply be confused. The truth is that there can be a dozen reasons why a man asks for a divorce but it all boils down to whether he still loves you and wants to share his life with you or not.
When one person in the relationship wants out, there really isn't much the other can do about it but painfully accept it. He may be going through a "funk" and not really mean what he said but let him realize that on his own without you negating his feelings. You can still go on getting therapy whether it is with or without him. It may be very helpful for you at this moment, actually.
Do you have family members nearby? Friends to talk to? Please let us know if you need any resources and keep us updated.
December 11, 2010 - 6:38amThis Comment
Yes I have family and friends, unfortunately i can't handle talking about for much right now and am still in the hopeful stage that he will figure it out if we have some time apart. I told him I still want to be with him, and love him, and I hope he will remember these things as we go through this.
December 11, 2010 - 7:31amThis Comment