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my husband wont be intimate with me anymore... im not sure why?

By Anonymous May 23, 2015 - 1:16am
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i am 25 he is 28 we have been married 5 years together almost 11. every effort i make towards him, he always turns me away. it doesnt matter what effort i do, hair, make up underwear he makes a joke, laughs or has an excuse.

i dont understand why im not good enough anymore.
i just want to be close with him... anyone, i need that closeness. help.

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Hello and thank you for sharing your question.

He may have a low libido from phycological or physical causes.  I suggest that you try talking to him.  Ask him if he feels the change in your sex life, the same as you.  If he recognizes it, but doesn't know why his sex drive changed, then it could be physical.  If he doesn't want to talk about it at all, then it could be phycological, or relational.  

Above all, do not take a blaming approach when speaking with him.  Use a lot of "I" statements, instead of "you" statements. "I feel distant from you lately," as opposed to "you are distant lately."  The first statement expresses a legitimate need, while the second only make him need to defend himself.

Bottom line is, communication is the only way to find out the true reason.  All other opinions are speculation.


May 23, 2015 - 10:46am

I think problem is with him. You should talk to him and try to learn the reason. He should see some specialist if needed or try counseling. Sometimes, men go through this phase but hopefully it will pass.

May 23, 2015 - 3:00am
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