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pls help me, i think m too small to accomodate my bf's penis???

By Anonymous August 4, 2009 - 10:17am
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Me and my boyfriend (both 20 and virgins), tried to have sex but we couldn't do it. he was not able to put his penis inside. He had inserted his finger in my vagina many a times in past and i did not feel any pain. So is it possible that my vaginal opening is not big enough to accomodate his penis??? I am very tensed.... pls help me.... what do i do??

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You are normal!

Most vaginas are able to "accommodate" a penis without having any medical condition. The first time (or first couple of times) can be a little difficult, for many reasons (since you are both virginis):
- his penis is not fully erect
- you are not lubricated enough
- you are tense

The best piece of advice I can offer: go slow, do not assume there is something wrong with your anatomy, and use extra lubrication (available at any drugstore near the condoms). You can try your boyfriend inserting one finger, then two, then his penis slowly. You can try to relax, and have him not go all the way in the first few times.

Beyond all of this, communication is both of your number one priority. You will be able to relax more if you trust that he will go slow and stop immediately when you ask. You can try a slightly different position that may feel better. Here is a similar question to yours (so you know you aren't alone!): First Time Sex for Two Virgins (Go Ask Alice).

A less-likely scenario is that you have a medical condition, more common would be a hymen that is still intact and slightly blocking the entrance to your vagina. If you are able to use tampons comfortably, have been to the gynecologist before with no problem during the pap smear...then your discomfort is likely not medical-related. (Be sure you do go to the gynecologist if you have never been...every woman who is sexually-active, and especially over the age of 18, needs to start going!)

August 4, 2009 - 12:12pm
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