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Problem having sex

By Anonymous March 19, 2011 - 8:34am
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me and my boyfriend tried having sex he tried to insert his penis but it did not go into my virgina, it was very difficult ,,is this normal? not even a little bit went inside and after a little while the top part of my virgina started paining (the place where i urinate) pls let me know why why

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EmpowHER Guest


thank you for your reply, yes for me this is the first time and like u said may be the size of his penis, but is this normal? he could not insert it in and why does the top part of my virgina hurt? the place where the penis goes in should hurt right? but for me the clitoris hurts why is that?

March 20, 2011 - 2:16am
(reply to Anonymous)

yes, it is normal. You might want to try with your partner inserting a lubricated finger first, then two fingers, until it feels pleasurable. After this point, you might want to try his penis again.

Much of sex is about feeling comfortable with your partner, trusting that he will be gentle and go slow, as well as stop at any time. When you are highly sexually aroused, your own vaginal lubrication can be plentiful enough that you are "wet" (self-lubricated), and the vaginal walls open. You can trust that your body will respond in this manner, once you become more emotionally ready! It takes time, and some practice, but continue focusing on foreplay.

It is also normal to have some uncomfortable feelings or even some "stinging" around your urethra or clitoris, but this should just last for a day or two. There are new sensations and the extreme sensitive areas can feel painful; your clitoral hood probably was not covering your clitoris and it can be so sensitive it hurts. (Other women reading this: pain in these areas that are prolonged can also indicate possible urinary tract infection -- UTI--, so please know this information is only answering this one woman's question about her first time, and within a few days after sex). Again--any prolonged symptoms should be discussed with a doctor, if you suspect sexually transmitted diseases or UTI.

Let us know how you are feeling in a few days!

March 20, 2011 - 7:32am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for your question. Is the first time you are having sex? Is this also your partner's first time having sex? When women get excited or aroused, our body creates lubrication and this is sometimes what people will call “feeling wet”. This lubrication helps with the insertion of the penis. However, if you are still dry in the vaginal area, this can cause severe pain and you can use something over the counter such as KY Jelly to help with the lubrication.

There are many other issues that may cause pain for you including the size of his penis. Since I will assume you are just starting your sexual experiences, I will also mention that condom usage will also help as that provides lubrication as well and should always be used to help avoid sexually transmitted diseases as well as pregnancy. This is also a good time to think about other pregnancy deterrents such as birth control.
I hope this helps you answer your question. Please feel free to contact us again if you have further questions.

March 19, 2011 - 9:56am
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