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Prolonged Emotions about Miscarriage

By July 7, 2009 - 6:21pm
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Hello Again!

I feel silly posting so much but finally i have found a site where real women who know what they are talking about are willing to help! So here goes...

I had a miscarriage Feb. 25, 2009 and im still struggling emotionally, is that normal? Also i am able to loose weight everywhere but my tummy?!?!? Is it in my mind maybe? Cuz i should be almost 7 months pregnant...im i crazy?

My boyfriend and i have been together for almost 4 years and plan on getting married but i start school in sept. and will be done next summer, he also wants to wait till we are married to get pregnant again. I cant wait! I want a baby so bad! But do i want a baby to replace my lost baby or because i want one? Is it selfish of me to want a baby so badly?

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Hi AmyLei--

Coming from someone who has been in your shoes once before, your feelings are not crazy. Truth is you never really "get over it". It will get better over time, but there are times when my DH and I still wonder "was it a girl or boy?" "what would they have been like?" and it has been 2 years.

We waited a year to try to conceive again and I just want to warn you that there will be fear with your second pregnancy and that is also very normal. Until I heard my sons heartbeat on an u/s, I didn't breathe a sign of relief. And even then I still felt like I wouldn't truly be relieved until my baby was born.

Miscarriages are more common than we think, ever since I spoke about my experience I found out that my mother in law had one, and three other friends either had one or know someone who did.

I know it's hard-- but when you finally get your "rainbow" baby, you will appreciate his or her life so much more thanks to this experience. Congratulations on your engagement and good luck conceiving when you are ready!

July 8, 2009 - 5:54am

There's no reason to feel silly about this very personal and sensitive issue. I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. This has happened to any number of us and we all share the sense of loss, sometimes for a lifetime.

Allow yourself to grieve, then allow yourself to take the time to get married, do whatever you have to do and prepare for another chance at having a baby. Take good care of yourself.

July 7, 2009 - 7:43pm
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