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Sex is Rare & my partner is blaming me

By August 27, 2012 - 7:56am
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We have been together for over 20 years, so I think I've been very patient as this problem has existed for 18 of the 20 years. My partner used to blame the lack of sex on the fact that my children were in the house, then it was his job, he used to say he worked very hard & was exhausted when he came home. Incidentally he works away for 4 weeks & is home for 4 weeks. Now however he says he has a very low sex drive, but that whilst he's away he doesnt feel the same stress, in other words he openly admits to masturbating which he is happy with but when it comes to sex with me its stressful for him. I know now that he has a problem both getting an erection and keeping an erection, when we do manage to have sex usually once in the month period he is at home, he can't reach orgasm. My partner just lays back and lets me do all the work of trying to arouse him, he does nothing at all for me, neither does he feel it necessary to ensure any sexual satisfaction for me. Until very recently he refused to see a Docter then he said he had seen our GP but he was told nothing was wrong with him, this was 3 years ago, since then again I have sat quietly saying little, but now I am frustrated hurt and angry that he is happy pleasuring himself but cares little or nothing about me. He is very affectionate towards me but it just isnt enough anymore. I suspect that he might have had one night stands in the past perhaps to prove to himself that there is nothing wrong with him, & its all my fault, but they have come to nothing. The other thing about him is that when we do have sex he only likes to be positioned behind me to enable him to really move in and out of me very, very fast & hard, its the same as when I am masturbating him he likes it very hard and fast, orally again very hard & fast, so I do wonder if there is a physical problem of sensitization. Its all become very stressful for me in recent months I am very depressed & unhappy. I even gave up my part time job to be with him all the time when he's home because he said I wasnt giving him enough attention, but now I'm here he doesnt want to know, so its year after year after year of just one excuse after another. Advice would be so much appreciated

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