I have a rather complex question. So I'll try to spare you the details. Basically, 3 years ago I married a man who has become a wonderful husband. I love him very very deeply.
However, before I married him I knew I was lesbian. I did my best to squash it because I had been taught it was a sinful lifestyle choose that God hated. I did not have the courage to live out what I knew was my natural orientation. I was only 21 when I married and was at the time very much in need of my family's approval.
I do not want to break his heart or get a divorce. But it's come to a point where I can barely bring myself to have sex with him. And when I do it totally freaks me out and I get uncontrollably depressed afterwards. But I don't want him to have to live in a sexless marriage. I feel like I'm living a lie and just pretending to be happy for his sake.
What should I do??!
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