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Sexual questions

By September 4, 2009 - 9:44am
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How can I get the guts to "jump my man's bones"? My boyfriend wants me to take the initiative when it comes to sex and I seem to have problems doing that. I can envision it, dream about it, and want to do just that, but when I'm with him, I just freeze. Why?
I also really want to be on top positions and can't seem to make myself get on top. My boyfriend has let me be on top a couple of times but because I don't know how to move on top, he stays on top or we do it from the back or the side. He doesn't seem to want to help me learn how to move on top and just tells me that I have to just "feel it", but he never leaves me on top long enough to do just that. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can learn how to move on top?

Another issue that I am having is I barely ever come during sex. I can come when I masturbate or when my boyfriend is fingering my clit but that's about it. Some times I have problems just relaxing and allowing myself to come and then other times I am relaxed but yet I still do not come. Can anyone tell me what's wrong with me and why I am having these problems. This has been ongoing.

Oh and another issue and I saw where someone else had a similar question or issue. I have problems performing oral sex as well. My mouth begins to hurt when I am performing oral sex. His penis isn't that large but yet after a certain length of time my mouth begins to hurt and I don't have to be performing oral sex for very long. It also seems as if I don't do it right or something. I also wonder about him. I can be performing oral sex on him and he can become erect or he can already be erect and I can be performing oral sex on him but he can lose his erect penis. Is it me or him?

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi my girl friend's name is Mina,every time we make a date together,she invites me to her celibacy home ;
several dating times,she tied my hands and abuse me with a "straped cock" hard,now, i cannot sit on the chair as well.
can you help me ?

April 9, 2012 - 10:40am
EmpowHER Guest

Thanks for the information that you shared. I am sure you may be able to help a lot of women that are experiencing the same issues.

I have a great experiment for you that I would like you to try. This may seem crazy and you may feel a little uncomfortable at first but try to do this. I read a book about this very issue before about sexual relationships and I thought this was a good thing for you to try when I read your story.

You say that you both undress yourselves and you are looking for more foreplay in your relationship. Try this. For the next 7 days, initiate sex with him. I don’t care if you’re tired from the kids going nuts, the job driving you crazy, etc. Make time to have sex every night with him. (I am hoping that you live together or that you see each other daily). If not, every time you see him, try this.

Okay, so you undress yourselves….the first time you get the chance, buy yourself something sexy to wear and flaunt it around him without going into the bedroom. Make yourself eye candy so that he does not want to keep his hands and eyes off of you. Wear this while making him dinner and make it a point to rub up against him, flirt with your body and bend over seductively to show what your cute outfit is hiding from time to time.

If he grabs you in the ‘sweet spots’, stop him and grab his hands and show him what your looking for, force his hands to hold you, or make him rub his hands across your face. All of this will work since in the end, he knows that sex is the outcome. This will become hot and heavy….and you both have your clothes on. When you are ready for the sexual portion, move to the bedroom but make sure he does not unclothe himself and you take control by either jumping on top of him (with your cute outfit on) and again, show him what you want him to do.

If the man is really interested in you long term, he wants to know what turns you on. Try to stay away from telling him, “I need to talk”, because men fear those words. The best way to talk to a man about what you like sexually is while in the act, tell him what to do. He will catch on and do it more often if he cares about you. A man that cares about you, will ultimately try everything in his arsenal to make you happy, even cuddle…ha ha, although, they may not do it as often as we like.

Try to take control of the situation for six days (doing different things everyday) and on the seventh day, have go to the bedroom and take your own clothes off as your usual sexual sessions and see what happens. You may be surprised.

September 5, 2009 - 10:34am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I wonder if there are others who are experiencing what I am. I've never spoken about sexual stuff in detail with friends because we tend not to go there. One friend I have we can talk about sex stuff here and there but being more detailed about it, we just hadn't gone there. I hope that sharing my story, can help other women. I always felt like I was alone with this, but in actuality some of my issues are normal and many other women have the same issue. Of course I still have yet to run into some one who can't initiate sex or just kind of take over without thinking. I never really thought as myself sharing a story but just asking for help. But maybe more may stand up and speak out.

WoW! miscortes. :-) That was very detailed and you know what? That is somewhat what I have been thinking about and wanting. WoW! That was HOT and HEAVY!

Now, I am not married and me and my boyfriend do not live together. We do not see each as much as I would like because he travels out of town to attend school and by the time he get's back he needs to go to work. Now he has a few days off this semester when he does not have to go to school, but he works everyday in the afternoon. I will be interning very soon which is going to make it even harder for us to see each other and once basketball is back in season, oh wow! We may not have quality time together at all. Anyway, he is out of town with family this weekend. I think what I will do, is to find something new, that's sexy, and I believe he will like. I tell you, though, dressing up for him is sssssooooooooo much fun. :-) Really FUN! I mean his eyes get huge and bright eyed and he can barely talk. It's a huuuuuuugee turn on. With this outfit,I will tease him a little. You can look but can't touch, but if I do allow you to touch, I have to make sure that you touch me in the right spots (right?). Now should this be lingerie or regular clothes that are revealing or maybe even both?
I am going to have to loosen up and relax with this as well. Even though I am confident about my body and know that he loves my body, sometimes I can feel a little shy about some of the things I wear. I think this comes from my mom. Anytime I would wear something sexy out of the home, "You can't wear that, that is too revealing" You dressed like a slut or a prostitute". When you hear these comments so much throughout your life when you do dress sexy you feel kind of guarded, you know. But I love sexy clothes and lingerie especially behind closed doors and I know that I can play that sexy, seductive role, if I don't think too much about it.

I can't waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiit To try this! This is exciting! And this way, I don't have to talk, talk about the issue, I can just show him. The problem is getting over this performance anxiety issue. But I am use to wearing sexy lingerie and clothing around him, so if I can add the other, I will be on the ball.

I will definitely let you know how this experiment works. Most definitely. It will probably be Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday that I will be able to do this, but I will let you all know how it goes. And by the way... I got a man who loves to cuddle. He loves to be held and loves to hold me. We do this alot. Sometimes, he likes for me to come over so I can hold him until he goes to sleep. I'm sure there aren't too many men out there like that.

Thanks. :-)

September 5, 2009 - 1:30pm
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