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should I see a gynecologist

By April 14, 2017 - 2:08pm
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im 17 and was molested for zhree years. its against my religion to have sex before marriage. I might have been raped at a stage and wasnt totally certain. So I avoidied finding out and just ingnored it. I am now in a serious relationship and would like to know if I am still a virgin. I know I am young but I cant be in a relationship because it leads to marrige and I cant get married if I am not a virgin. I have never had concentual sex before and my my parents dont know about this so the question is can I see the doctor without them because knowing and if I do will I have to explain to him and will he have to go to the police with this information? also its been bothering me lately more then usual, I feel like have to know because this determines my relationships . is it best that I live my life not knowing or just find out and stop this wondering?

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Thank you for your reply and advice.

April 15, 2017 - 6:29am
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You're welcome.
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April 15, 2017 - 10:57am

Dear somebody,

Thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm very sorry this happened to you. I don't know what your religion is, but rape and/or molestation is no fault of yours and should not be treated as something deliberate on your part. In other words, you did not (willing) go against your religion. Your parents, in my opinion, any man that would claim to love you, should be able to understand and accept this.

As for the question of virginity, a person who has never had sexual intercourse is considered a virgin. Sexual intercourse means a man's penis entered your vagina. Only you can know if this occurred. Also, many people believe an intact hymen (the membrane that partially closes the opening of the vagina) is an indicator of virginity, but this is a myth. Because it is so thin, the hymen could break before you've even had intercourse. Some girls aren't even born with a hymen. So whether you are a virgin or not, an intact hymen does not *prove* virginity.

I think at some point you may to need to trust someone (a gynecologist or counselor) and unburden yourself of this secret or it will always be a weight on you. They should keep what you say in confidence. You can ask this before you disclose any information, and you need not name the person who hurt you (if you don't want to) only tell what happened and what your concerns are. It's really up to you. I wish you all the best in whatever you decide.

Keep us updated.


April 15, 2017 - 6:15am
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