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What can i do to increase my boyfriend's sex drive?

By Anonymous September 2, 2010 - 2:04pm
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My b/f and i have been together for 1 year and a half. We live together and he has three kids. They are here half time. He is going through some medical problems right now and has been really depressed for the past few months and in the last 6 months we have only had sex twice. He hasnt touched me in almost four months now. That is no fore play or anything. I am 26 years old and he is 40. He just wants to sleep all the time and i take care of the kids and house. I dont know what to do. I am about to lose my mind. I am at the point i am not even having periods. I dont have insurance to see a doctor. I am at my wits end i just want to be touched and to know that i am loved. I have had serious talks with him about it and he tells me i am selfish and that he just needs a little more time thats all. Or he says he will start to try. But he hasnt done anything. I would never leave him. Even though i know thats what some people would tell me to do. I love him soo much i just want to fix the situation. Please help me tell me what i can do! I am desperate and going out of my mind. It is actually starting to affect my daily life. I cant help but think about it almost all day please help me.

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Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

Anon - You say your boyfriend is having medical problems. You mention that he is very depressed. Some medications can reduce libido and nearly all anti-depressant medications do. If you are describing new behaviors they could be tied to his medications and his medical condition. Have you looked into this aspect at all or discussed it? What's being done to help him recover from his medical problems - sleeping all the time does not sound like a recovery program for dealing with an illness. Looking at the bigger picture of both his health status, treatment program and recovery progress could be helpful. He sounds like someone who is in need of support and dealing with that first so that he feels better would be helpful in getting other aspects of his life, such as sexual activity, back to normal too.

It also sounds like you need medical attention too. Not having periods isn't normal. Here is a link to information on free and low-cost medical services: http://www.needymeds.org/free_clinics.taf

If your worries about your lack of a sex life have gotten to the point where you're not able to function normally and truly do feel that you are "going out of your mind" then you may also want to see if free counseling services are also available in your area.

September 2, 2010 - 6:50pm
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