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I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. We get along really well. I love him and I know he loves me, he respects me, is always kind to me and SAYS im sexy. For the first 6 months we had sex around 3 times a week and over the past year it has become less and less frequent. Now we have it around once a month. I am quite a sexual person but I'm also not very confident with my body. Ive tried talking about it with him and telling him I often feel like sex but i dont like instigating it because sometimes he gently pushes me away and I feel rejected. He said sometimes he just doesnt feel like it. he said hes not a very touchy person. I dont know what to do because I'm repressing my sexual desires. Hes nine years older than me, hes 34. Hes fit and healthy, we both are. I have thought he may not feel confident in bed because hes had less sexual partners than I have and hes older but over the past year when we have had sex I've made a point of showing him I enjoyed it. I dont want to hurt his feelings or make him feel pressured for sex. I also dont want to break up with him, if it wasnt for this issue we would have the most perfect relationship. I need to do something because its driving me crazy, I go to bed at night hoping he will make a move and he doesnt and I'm left feeling unsatisfied and undesireable.
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Hi Anon,
Welcome to EmpowHER. It's important to let him know how you feel about him not wanting to have sex with you and how it can hurt the relationship. You can suggest, to see a doctor to have his hormones level checked. Some man experience a low libido. Also, stress or depression can also cause this lack of desire for sex. It's best for him to see a doctor and explain what is happening, he might also suggest seeing a psycho-therapist.
Here is a link that might be helpful
www.empowher.com/low-libido
Best,
Daisy
May 15, 2012 - 3:33amThis Comment