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what do i expect?

By April 10, 2010 - 7:24pm
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my husband was told march 3 he has pancreatic cancer that has spread to his liver/spleen..he aches all the time and has had 3 chemo's...i know it sounds harsh but when/what do i need to expect when its close to over??im soooooo lost in all this . he is only 48 and we married 2 yrs ago....plz help me w/ answers..

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EmpowHER Guest

Very sorry to hear about your husband. I lost my first husband to pancreatic cancer in 2004 - he was only 34 years old.
I, too, looked for help and answers and basically found none. Hospice was a big help, but I am one who doesn't like surprises, so it was hard for me to handle having to deal with this without knowing exactly what to expect.
If you would like to chat, email me back and I can tell you what we went through. Maybe I can help you!

July 21, 2010 - 10:26am

Hi, Jlcblc,

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis. I can only imagine how devastating it must be to you both.

It sounds like you were also asking what happens when a pancreatic cancer patient nears the end. Is that true? I found a source on living with advanced pancreatic cancer that may be helpful to you. It is from the UK, so there are a few references to their health care service that don't apply in the U.S., but the information is very good:


This is a forum in which family members and patients are writing about end-stage pancreatic cancer. It is not easy to read. But it will help you be informed of some of the possibilities.


One of the most important things with pancreatic cancer is that your doctor know your husband's symptoms as they occur. For instance, his aches: When it progresses to pain, make sure they make pain medicine available to control it.

What have your doctors told you in terms of prognosis and possibility?

How are you and your husband doing emotionally?

April 13, 2010 - 8:28am

Hi Jiblc:

I am so sorry. This is a tough one, especially since you are newly married. Pancreatic cancer is notoriously difficult to treat, and the fact that it has spread to his liver makes it more so. Have the two of you sat down together to discuss all this with his oncologist? The oncologist has a treatment plan in place. They will already have decided how long the chemo cycle will be, how many sessions, etc. It sounds like maybe you haven't discussed the treatment plan.

I suggest you make an appointment with the oncologist for the two of you to go in and discuss the plan and what to expect. You husband is going to go through some very tough times. He has a very tough cancer. He will be sick. I don't want to sound negative, but it is good if you are prepared. It is a difficult journey and he is going to need help and support.

Please see the oncologist, and then you may even want to consider some counseling. There are therapists who specialize in people dealing with cancer in some way, and that may be of great help to you.

This is the Pancreatic Cancer Home Page of the National Cancer Institute. http://www.cancer.gov/cancerinfo/types/pancreatic/

You may be able to find some information there to help you along. Please let us know if we can help you further, and good luck to you and your husband.

April 12, 2010 - 6:48am
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