What might be the cause of my boyfriend not wanting to have sex?

By Anonymous November 11, 2010 - 6:40pm

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Like other women on here, I have read many articles regarding my question however none of the situations seem to fit with mine. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and for more then half of our relationship, our sex life has not been frequent or very satisfying. Most of you will probably ask why I am still in it and that might be a good question. I feel like most other things are fine though and I am typically happy. BUT, we have not had sex in 6 months. And prior to that time it was 5 months. I feel like this is slowly killing me. I have spoken to him over the past 2 years about our on-going problem and he has said: he doesn't need it as much as other guys, nothing is wrong, and more recently that he feels uncomfortable doing it in my parents house. (After living out of the country for 2 years, we have been living in my parent's basement apartment while we get on our feet). I do understand his feelings on living at home again but what I can't understand is why he doesn't have any desire to take me somewhere else then. How can he possibly go 6 months without wanting me in that way. I feel like I'm going crazy. This has really affected my self-esteem, feelings of jealousy and caused rollercoaster mood swings. I don't know what else to do. He is 30 and I will be 26 by the month's end. I have never felt better about my body then over the past couple years and I feel like I am going to regret all this time spent hoping that something will change. I don't want to break up on the basis of sex but how can he not think it's as important as I do? He is in school, graduating next year and has been stressed in recent months as he hasn't been able to find a job to pay for an increasing debt. I feel like I am making excuses for him. I am stressed too yet I still have a desire to sleep with him. If we can't find that passion now, what is going to happen if and when we decide to have kids, etc...when we have huge financial burdens, etc. I need advice from someone impartial. Please help!

Add a Comment2 Comments

leoinmass

stress is a huge condition. stress blocks desire and creativity.
what could you do to put him in the mood with no stress in the process. touch him, massage him. do somthing he likes. not too much to quick. you might be surprised.

November 16, 2010 - 3:19am

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Pat Elliott Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

Anon - Most of the women who write in with this same question seem to think they have a unique situation but in reality the situations are very similar. You will find many comments and answers in the following thread: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore

November 11, 2010 - 7:31pm