My boyfriend was trying to solve the 'problem' of my 'wierd' low sex drive but I don't think I have a problem. I think our fighting over this eventually led to our break up. I tried to compromise with him but that always led to me going through the motions without enjoying the sex, and actually made my sex drive lower. I think he was more worried about the lack of sex than he was with how I felt about having sex I didn't want. There's no hope for the relationship, but I don't want to go through this again. Do I just wait until I find a man with the same level drive as me? Most of my friends do what he did and offer solutions to 'fix' my 'problem'. Do I have a problem? I rarely want sex, but it doesn't bother me since I don't notice it. Am I wrong to not want to do things to increase my libido? When I do have sex that I initiate or want it is extremely enjoyable and satisfying, but having sex that I don't want because my partner wants to makes me feel ill and sad.
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Can I ask you how old you are?
Have you thought about the other possibility, that you in fact may not have a low sex drive, but that the person you were with was not "the one", and your body was telling you something that your mind was not willing to accept at the time? Perhaps if you met someone who has all of the great qualities you deserve, brings joy and happiness and excitement into your life, as well as brings out all of your best qualities in a happy and healthy relationship...that maybe you would have a sex drive that you would consider healthy?
June 3, 2010 - 8:30pmThis Comment
Thankyou Alison. I'm 24. I hadn't considered this possibility, because everything else seemed to be going really well. Maybe you're right though; he was wonderful but he wasn't the one. I was so determined that he was everything I wanted that I didn't really listen to my own body. The more I think about it, the more I thing your explanation is right. Thankyou again, I think this will help me in future.
June 3, 2010 - 10:28pmThis Comment