Hi am a girl, i am 20 years old.
My boyfriend asked me to be his friend before 1 day, it hurts like hell.
I do love him like crazy, and i really donot need more friends in my life. I do love him so much.
The situation is that he is having some problems with his family and his friends donot like me for no reason, in fact they never met me and donot want to :S.
He told me that he donot want to lose me or his friends, and donot wana feel guilty for letting me put up with his problems, even thought i told him am welling to stand by him in everything, and i really do.
we have been togather for 3 months, i know many will see it as a short periode of time, but he is special, and i do love him. I want him back :(
I followed many stratiges about the breakup, for example i stopped calling, i may call once only, he started to call up to 5 times, it really like he is calling every 60 or 30 min,i started to talk without words of babe,i love u,anywords of love affiction, and i treat him so normal..like less than a friend.
what can i do more :'( i want him.
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I am confused, as you keep telling us that he has "problems" in a very mysterious way. I also do not understand how you have dated him in-person for only one month (then two months long-distance), and that all of his friends and family "hate you"? What could have possibly happened in this short amount of time for an entire group of people to hate you, who care about the same person you do?
I have to admit, that does stir up some red flags for me.
Can you tell me what their perspective is of you, without them having never met you? Have you talked with them on the phone, or is your boyfriend the one conveying these messages to you? Does this make you wonder that if they've never met you, have never talked with you...what has your boyfriend told them about you, to cause them to "hate" you? I presume the other side of this is that they hate something about you that you have no control of (ie, religion, race, ethnicity, etc).
I just am reading between the lines that there are some other things going on in this relationship that may not be so healthy and innocent, and maybe even co-dependent or harmful?
March 4, 2010 - 2:33pmThis Comment
yes we live far from each other..
March 4, 2010 - 1:38pmit is hard to see each other the often..
and we have been in a relation for 3 months..
we saw each other in the first month..
then the other two month only talking by the phone because of his problems..
This Comment
Bambino,
It's clear that he does care about you. And I know that you love him so much.
I don't understand how you have been dating for three months but haven't seen him for the last two months. Did you only get to see each other for one month?
But it seems like things are stacked against you. You didn't say how old your boyfriend is, but I am assuming he is 20, like you, or older, and that both of you are adults. Yet if his family doesn't want him to see you, he doesn't, and if his friends pressure him not to see you, he doesn't.
It seems like one of two things is going on here:
1. Either he is not strong enough to tell his family and friends to back off, or
2. He isn't in love with you anymore but he's using his friends and family as an excuse because it's easier.
Either way, you are alone right now, and hurting, and hoping. That's not good.
It may be that being without you for a while will show him how much he really does care about you, like when he called when it was raining. But there's nothing you can do to make him act differently. I wish I could tell you differently, but I can't. When someone wants out of a relationship, or wants less pressure in their lives, there's very little you can do to change that.
Do the two of you live far apart? Is that part of why you couldn't see one another more?
March 2, 2010 - 9:37amThis Comment
Thank you for plying back..
I canot accept him as a friend..
I have many best friends in my life..I donot need more..
I know how selfish it may sound, but my heart was set to love her as a lover not a friend, i canot change that..
His friends are the main reason, they are putting alot of prusher on him, I am so suprised how much hate they have for me, even thought they donot know me..
Why when they asked him to leave me or they will leave him he did, but i once asked him if he asked on of his friends to breakup with his gf would he accepted and he said no..that answer broke my heart..
In the last 2 weeks we would always fight, he wouldnot express feelings for me as much as he used, we before, we would fight on everything and anything, but it was all because of his friends..
and about his family issue, he canot talk to me always, max 2 times a day, and it have been two mounth since the last time i saw him because of his family,what can i do..am so hurt inside..
last night it was raining heavly..i was suprised that he called at 12:30 am, when i asked him why are you still awake, he told me he wanted to check if i was ok, that he really care about me..
March 1, 2010 - 7:47pmThis Comment