Why can't I orgasm?! I've read much on the subject and still am having problems ...

I got married about a month and a half ago and before the marriage my now husband had little to no sex drive and somehow recently found it last week and we have sex all the time. I have always been one of'those girls' that can.orgasm ALL the time but since my husband has been very interested I cannot climax at all. Not even with toys or masturbation.

i too had an iud b4 having my daughter,i can only achieve orgasm by masturbation during sex or alone it matters not just as long as u get desired result-keep playin u'll get there

I agree with rosa!! But, I think your story doesn't add up I have NEVER heard of anyone having an IUD without a child or having sex I'm a Doctor!!!For the record I've never had an orgasm. It will take a vampire to suck my blood sezxually to believe I'll ever have one medically speaking! Good luck

Dear Anon,

Not having the ability to orgasm is actually not that strange. Some women have the inability to orgasm at all--Some can only orgasm during penetration, others through oral stimulation.

For someone with little sexual experience, masturbating can sometimes help. Through masturbation, many women can pin-point exactly what they like and what they don't like. When you're having sex, make sure you guide your partner as well-- if it doesn't feel good tell him, "try this", "harder", "gentler", etc. Don't tell him "I don't like that" -- be sensitive to his feelings while guiding him to give you pleasure.

Another suggestion are toys. Have you used them? Many people use toys during sex not to replace their partners but to add to the pleasure and excitement of sex, which can also cause orgasm. I would start with one, perhaps something that stimulates your clitoris and then take it from there. But be careful, sometimes when toys are used too frequently, it's the only way the woman will be able to orgasm.

Lastly, most women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone because of the little clitoral stimulation. Most women will achieve orgasm through oral sex (also guide your partner here if necessary) or a good combination of both.

The three sex positions that provide the most clitoral stimulation are:
Doggy Style: when he comes from behind you and enters you
Woman on top (or Cowgirl position): you sit on top of him, controlling movement and this gives you the ability to find your clitoris
Reverse cowgirl: same as cowgirl but face away from your partner

The more you experiment with your body, the more you will find it pleasurable and perhaps find the way(s) that YOU can reach orgasm. Every woman is different and what may work for me may not work for you, and so on.

Good Luck and have fun!