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Why did my husband turn off from sex 16 years ago?

By April 3, 2014 - 7:04pm
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We had been married for many years already. Our sex life was okay. I turned to him one night to initiate lovemaking. He stopped me saying I needed to give him some space sexually. He also said to not touch him intimately in public or at home.
I was shocked. I waited a week on pins and needles not knowing what the problem was. He never brought it up again. I did. He did not want to talk about it. This continued for months.
He refused to talk to a doctor about it.

A short time later he was put on an anti- depressant, which did not help.
One year later he became ill with diverticulitus, almost dying. He was okay but has been in the hospital every two to three years with blockages.
A year later I got RSDS from a work injury.I have daily pain.
We are still together but I have tried everything through the years to try to get him interested again. He says he's pain and it's not me it's him.
I almost wish I'd left him so I'd been able to find someone else who loves me and wants
intimacy in every sense of the word. But I haven't.
I was a touchier, hugger, hand holder. We flirted with each other. There were winks and things said to each other that I then saw him do when he flirted with other women. I told him that really hurt. He said " I'm not $%&*... them so what's the problem?
Why did he turn away from me? I know it's not me as I had other offers. I chose to never take anyone up on them although I am lonely in my marriage for intimacy.
We're sti

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi lkrice83,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  Definitely, no woman should be treated this way.  If you feel it's worth saving this relationship, you might want to seek counseling for the relationship or for yourself.  No one should be in a relationship where their partner does not want to be intimate or been seen in public with them.  The fact he goes around flirting with other women, it's not right.  You should not have to put up with this kind of behavior.  I strongly suggest to seek counseling for yourself from a psychotherapist. Hope this was helpful?



April 4, 2014 - 5:39am
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