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why is my boyfriend abondoning me sexually, emotionaly,and mentaly

By Anonymous January 17, 2012 - 3:46am
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my boyfriend of 5 yrs. has started sleeping with his clothes on. He sleeps at the most opposite side of the bed we share. When in the morning I let him know that I am interested, he will immediately have a reason why he doesn't want to or can't(ALWAYS)! When he leves the house with a guy friend of his, he says I can't go or he's in a hurry so he can't wait for me. I will be stuck without a car, phone ,internet, money, or anyone that is a friend to me in walking distantce. When he's gone with or without me knowing he won't answer my calls or texts, or he'll answer once and tell me a lie of who, what, when, where, and why. When he finally comes home he acts as if everything is a-ok despite my crying in the bedroom. When there is no response from him in any way I will confront him with all the resonable questions, which always escalates into yelling and screaming match of who's right and who's wrong. When I let him know what and how I am feeling he gets defensive and automaticaly in one way or another puts the blame on me. for example..."Well if you weren't alway putting in my face how we don't have sex, maybe I would want to." That's just one of many ways he throws blame. I ASK him if he is sleeping or interested in someone els and he automatically goes off saying I must have a guilty concience. I cry every day all different times through out the day. When I cry he gets irritated or angery, sometimes physicaly abusive. I will ask him, when it seems safe to, if he still loves me, if he wants to break up, if he's depressed?, anything that comes to mind I ask. I have even asked if he's gay. Of course his answers are all what I would want him to say in any normal instance, but in this instance I can't help but feel he's witholding or lieing to me. He also will portrey controlling acts such as I can't adujust the heater and radio controls in the car, dosen't matter who's driving. Other people, friends or not, see and hear what I describe to them, they are behinde me 100%, but won't say anything to him about what he's doing is messed up. I will tell him what others say and think and he of course says I am lieing. I think about leaving him, but I also know I would be even more distraut without him. I love him, I dream of him, I can't imagine any part of my life, even sex with someone els. We have about 2 to 3 days a week we aren't at eachothers throats. What do I do or can I do?

signed, desperate and stuck

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  Whether he is cheating, gay or anything else.  The fact your boyfriend doesn't want to be with you and is always giving you excuses should be enough to not be with this person. 



January 17, 2012 - 6:22am
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