I lost my mom to cancer almost 4 years ago and I'm still a total mess. I'm trying to pick myself up by my bootstraps and get going with my life and make her proud, but it's still so difficult. I want to write everything I'm feeling but it's even painful to get it all out and I don't know where to begin. I know I need some support. Does anyone have any guidance or advice?
Today was especially emotional because I'm trying to get back into school and get some financial aid, but my Dad isn't cooperating and giving me any of his tax information. I tried to file as an independent but there is so much paperwork involved. I'm stressed and depressed.
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Hello,I am so sorry for your lost,but i feel your pain.I lost my mother going on 9yrs in june.I was only 15 and did not know what to do or which way to go. my 3 sibilings and i were living w/ my grandma and it was rough.No father around ,no one to turn to.I do not know your religion but through that time i truly was abe to find comfort in my christianity.Truth be told,you will never get over the loss of your mother but you will b able to cope w/ it.It will be times when you will break dwn and cry like it was just yesterday.It will be times whn you know if she was alive u wouldnt be going through this or that...I just knw how u feel.Its always good to have someone to talk to that is going through the same thing.I hope things get better and your heart heals.Am always here if you want to talk.
I also went through the same financial aid issues.I had to do a dependcy over ride.I was a independent student because my mother passed away and i didnt know about my dad.I do not know if your dad is invovled in your life but you can ask about the dependcy over ride if he is not invovled.The only thing is you will need ppl to write letters to state your sitaution.
March 3, 2011 - 11:53amThis Comment
Hi Anonymous,
March 3, 2011 - 9:18amThank you for sharing your story, and for finding EmpowHER. I know it's a lot of paperwork, and can be overwhelming. Do you have a friend or trusted adult who could help you figure it all out. If not, look to the staff at the school. They likely have financial aid counselors--it is their job to help you with filling out paperwork, and knowing your options so you can pay for school. I had to go through all that when I was in school--filing as an independent, and doing all that paperwork. I can attest that it isn't any fun. You will get through it.
I'm sorry you're still grieving the loss of your mom. Do you belong to a church where you could seek support? You also could talk with your doctor's nurse to ask if they know of any local resources that may help. Writing can be cathartic (good to purge emotions), keep doing it, even if it's just a little bit to help you keep control and not get completely overwhelmed. Do you have a good friend whom is a good listener? She or he may be able to provide some support too. I'm sure that your Mom is proud of you for trying to get back into school, and for carrying on after losing her. I couldn't imagine losing a parent at your age, and am deeply sorry you are having to go through this. Try to keep moving forward as best you can, and if you truly feel depressed, call your doctor. They will be able to help with medication (if necessary), and resources for support.
At some point, you will need to establish an adult relationship with your Dad. I understand things may be very stressful for both of you and hope that you can continue to remain in touch despite the pain you both no doubt feel.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing. Also let us know if you have more questions or need resources. We can try to help find you some in your area.
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