Hi I'm a teenager who has been to 7 in-patient hospitals... and that's not including medical hospitals. It all started when I went into an out-patient program, I only had my eating disorder then. That's when I started cutting! It was just minor then, I ended the program when my time was up and was home. Then came my first visit to the emergency room. Their wasn't enough beds so they made room for me. I wasn't eating. Then i went to my first in-patient hospital. My cutting was more severe and I started taking pills. I was in and out of hospitals all over. And I even spent two weeks in an emergency room because they couldn't find a bed. A lot of restraints and medications sometimes for things I couldn't even help. I had many suicide attempts in the hospital and one time I almost succeeded... that was the last time I tried that was so scary. Knowing I almost took my own life and if it wasn't for staff I wouldn't be alive today. The ambulance couldn't respond so they had to call the fire department. After that my eating disorder kicked in and I was in and out of the emergency room/medical hospital while in a psychiatric hospital. They admitted me a few times and tube feed me but only for a few days so I could still have my spot at the other hospital. Finally they found another hospital for me but it was a good 8 hours away from my home. They minute I got there I knew it was not for me... it was mostly a medical rehab. As soon as my mom left within the first hour I was there they tube fed me. I thought that was very ridiculous. I came right at dinner time and they didn't even explain the program to me. Being sat on by an adult who was more than triple your weight, was not fun. That was a living hell. I started to get physical and they made up a plan depending on how long it took me to stop or let them restrain me I would have a 5 to 8 hour timeout in a room with nothing. I started to bang my head on the wall all the time. And that continued for months. At one point my behavior was so bad they put my on a unit with all autistic kids, but 1. One of the kids in there came into my room and put his hand under my shirt. That was it. I wanted off of that unit and I was not staying there another week. After 4 months there and fighting to get me out I was sent somewhere in my state. Finally I got the help I needed and now I have been home for almost two months. The end of June marked a year since my suicide attempt and August 22 marks the last time I was tube feed food. With the right hospital and the right amount of time you can get the help you need in one shot. I had 13 denials from insurance in 5 months. And now my story may end up in the newspaper. I'm not saying I'm hundred percent better but I haven't self harmed in months. I mean I'm still struggling with my eating disorder today but right now more than before. I even took myself off all medications and I still remain safe. Don't let people think there's no hope there's always hope. But you can't get better without the help from yourself. PROVE EVERYONE WRONG!
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Yes I really hope to help someone else. Especially with my story showing up in NY Times. It talks about my denials trying to help others get the treatment they need in one shot. Any questions feel free to ask.
July 27, 2013 - 8:05amThis Comment
Let me first say, wow, what an incredibly strong person you. I admire your strength for not only sharing this deeply personal story, but knowing that by sharing this you could possibly help someone else dealing with anorexia or self harm.
Your message is truly inspirational.
I love when you say..."Don't let people think there's no hope there's always hope. But you can't get better without the help from yourself."
It is wonderful to read that progress that you have made. You are a true fighter with a lot of courage.
Thank you for inspiring me.
July 26, 2013 - 3:59pmThis Comment