There is such a sense of relief when you’ve finally received the correct diagnosis. Especially if it has been a long time coming. Unfortunately, that sense of relief doesn’t last very long. Now you are faced with the devastating news that you actually have a life threatening disease. Wow. Just typing that makes me depressed. Let’s move on before I start to cry.
They say there are five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. To put things in perspective, allow me to share what these stages meant for me:
1.) Denial: Insisting upon maintaining the same routine even though you feel like you’re going to collapse at any moment.
2.) Anger: Yelling at your husband because he used the hand towel for anything besides drying his hands.
3.) Bargaining: Promising your doctor that you’ll do all that is asked so long as she makes it go away.
4.) Depression: Waiting until you get in the shower to cry so that nobody else will hear you.
5.) Acceptance: Agreeing to use a motorized scooter at Disneyland.
The grieving process is just that, a process. However, regardless of where you are in the journey, there are definite steps you can take to help yourself along.
Let The Healing Begin
First and foremost, learn to accept that you have heart disease. This is difficult as your first impulse might be to deny it. We may understand the mechanics of it but wrapping our heads around it emotionally is much harder.
Second, tell yourself that it is ok to feel the pain. Yes, you need to do this. The pain associated with grieving can be both emotional and physical. Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid it. Denying the pain of grieving can lead to physical symptoms, and that’s the last thing you need right now.
Next, adjust to living with heart disease. When diagnosed with such a life altering condition, the lifestyle that you were used to has suddenly changed. You may find yourself grieving for the parts of your life that will never be the same. That’s ok. It takes time for the realization to sink in.
Finally, understand that, in many ways, you heart is ‘broken’. Allowing yourself to heal will enable you to be proactive in the care your heart receives. And isn’t that what its all about?
Rebecca Fortunato
http://rebeccasheart.wordpress.com/
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Thank you both!
February 20, 2010 - 2:48pmAs many women know, grief can stike at any point (and you are right, Pat. In any order).
Whether its heart disease, cancer, loss of a job, etc; we all need support. Thanks to you both for your continued contributions and encouragement.
Take Care,
Rebecca Fortunato
http://rebeccasheart.wordpress.com/
This Comment
Hi Rebecca - Thank you for this beautiful description of what a person goes through when they learn they have a serious health condition. Whether one has heart disease or cancer or any other condition that creates a sense of loss, there's going to be a transition period before life becomes a "new normal.' I can relate to everything you've said, and would just add that it's also important to realize that the stages may not come in a particular order, or in a straight progression, and some stages occur more than once. What matters is to continue on the journey and head toward healing in one's own time. Thank you for sharing this with us. Take care, Pat
February 18, 2010 - 6:20pmThis Comment
Rebecca,
Thank you for being so honest. You write so well that I can identify with all you say even though I don't have heart disease. Anyone who has been through the stages of grief about anything will understand what you are going through (and why tears can come at any moment, too). And your insight into the healing process is so helpful.
Thanks again. And be sure to do everything that doctor says!
February 18, 2010 - 7:38amThis Comment