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X-Files and Californication star David Duchovny recently announced he had entered rehab for sex addiction. He has asked for privacy at this time, for him, his children and actress wife Tea Leoni.
So leaving that aside - what exactly is sexual addiction? Is it even a legitimate disease?
Sexual addiction is described as
"behavior of a person who has an unusually intense sex drive or an obsession with sex. Sex and the thought of sex tend to dominate the sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships.
Sex addicts engage in distorted thinking, often rationalizing and justifying their behavior and blaming others for problems. They generally deny they have a problem and make excuses for their actions.
Sexual addiction also is associated with risk-taking. A person with a sex addiction engages in various forms of sexual activity, despite the potential for negative and/or dangerous consequences. In addition to damaging the addict's relationships and interfering with his or her work and social life, a sexual addiction also puts the person at risk for emotional and physical injury.
For some people, the sex addiction progresses to involve illegal activities, such as exhibitionism (exposing oneself in public), making obscene phone calls, or molestation. However, it should be noted that sex addicts do not necessarily become sex offenders.
Behaviors associated with sexual addiction include:
-Compulsive masturbation (self-stimulation)
-Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
-Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
-Consistent use of pornography
-Unsafe sex
-Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
-Prostitution or use of prostitutes
-Exhibitionism
-Obsessive dating through personal ads
-Voyeurism (watching others) and/or stalking
-Sexual harassment
-Molestation/rape
Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners. In addition, the problem of sex addiction often leads to feelings of guilt and shame. A sex addict also feels a lack of control over the behavior, despite negative consequences (financial, health, social, and emotional)."
Source: http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_addiction/article.htm
Most professionals believe that sex addiction is a genuine affliction, comparable to alcohol or drug addiction.
Others disagree and say that because certain sexual activity is seen as deviant to some people (multiple and frequent sexual partners, unusual sexual practices, group sex, paying for sex) they want to label it as a disorder in order to demonize it.
Still others say the notion of sexual addiction is just an excuse for people to cheat on their partners and then claim a kind of disorder once they are caught.
An MSNBC poll showed 63% of responders felt sexual addiction is real, 30% felt it was an excuse and 7% were unsure. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21672658/
Tell Us
Have you (or someone you know) dealt with sexual addiction? How did you (or they) cope? Do you think it's a real disorder or an excuse for cheating and lying?
All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.
Add a Comment4 Comments
janis62,
I really appreciate your honesty about this subject. Coming from a bad marriage where things were pretty grim for a while, I can see a totally different side to the addiction from your story.
It is really hard being the person on the other side of this picture but you really shed some light on the other side of the addiction.
I personally wanted to thank you for opening my eyes on the subject. You are certainly not alone.
September 20, 2008 - 4:31pmThis Comment
I wonder what the statistics are of women addicted to sex and porn, compared to men?
Personally, I think we can thank Hugh Heffner and Larry Flynt for helping to perpetuate a sickness in our society. My spouse calls his obsession with 5" heels, trashy photos and "toys" his fetishes. They go way beyond fetish and it has gotten to the point at which I'm so completely turned off by him that I couldn't care less about intimacy. That's really sad, and frustrating that he's in such denial about his addictions - and there are a few!
September 4, 2008 - 5:14pmThis Comment
Thank you for sharing such personal information, as it is helpful to hear that it is something that a person can be aware of, and also difficult to change the behavior.
I would be interested in hearing more about your story, as it is difficult to understand for those of us who are not going through it.
Is being "addicted to porn" and having multiple sexual relationships outside of a committed relationship two behaviors that usually occur together?
Does the porn or other relationships offer something that your committed relationship does not? (my assumption, based on your "current arrangement"). Is there a committed relationship that could offer you all that you need, or is your addiction something that can not be filled?
Have you tried to seek help, or tried stopping on your own? What do you know about porn addiction (have you read about it, and possible causes or solutions?)
Thanks! I hope you don't mind all of these personal questions, I really want to learn more about this!
September 4, 2008 - 12:02pmThis Comment
Reading this article really hit home. I am a divorced woman of a sexual addict. Actually most of my previous relationships tended to be men with some kind of addiction.
I definitely believe that there is such thing as a sexual addict. I don't know what makes them tick but I know from experience it does exist. Needless to say, he sat me down and told me what he was experiencing and the choice was mine to stay or leave. I left.
He has since left this world but he shared with me his feelings about woman. Woman to him were expendable sexually. He had pornography, the Internet (although the Internet was pretty new at the time), videos, the sex stores, girlie clubs.....the list goes on and on.
To him, it wasn't emotional it was completely physical. He was not the mean guy, he was the guy that any woman would fall in love with. The nice sensitive type, putting YOU as number one.
I think any addiction characteristic is the same. I, myself, am a work-a-holic. I can admit that and it does cause issues in relationships because people think I am CRAZY. I do it because it is in my nature to work hard and play harder. It has it's ups and downs.
I am glad you had this post, it feels good to talk about it.
August 30, 2008 - 2:07pmThis Comment