Monday, April 14, 2008
Conflict Resolution
Thank you to all that commented about Sam. Before I tell you the outcome I want you all to know that Sam is a good kid, but by no means is the boy a Saint. Sam often gets detention (for fooling around in class,) can be extremely mouthy and back-talkish with M and me, often picks fights with his siblings and at least once a day does something dumb (like forgets to pack his shorts for lacrosse practice and ends up playing in his boxers.)
That said, he does have a heart of gold and when push came to shove last Friday, Sam shoved. A few of his buddies backed out of the confrontation, but Sam and the remaining troops went up to the bullies and firmly suggested that they should leave their friend alone. There was some teenage swearing, a little tussle between two of the boys (no one was hurt) and a few threats made. All in all, I think that Sam’s friend will have an easier time of it, but as I told him earlier, his job is not to protect his friend all the time. Both boys need to live their own lives and offer support when needed, plain and simple.
I think it is also fair to point out that Sam did not come by this “help out the gay guy” mentality all on his own. Sam’s father, M’s life long best friend is gay. My children have always known that Uncle best friend is gay and there is absolutely no drama around M and best friend’s friendship. My children love their uncle and he is a very present part of our family. So, I think it is fair to say that Sam had the advantage of living the truth, which then led him to, more easily than most kids, call out the injustice. To Sam, that could have been his beloved uncle best friend being bullied.
Do you guys get that?
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Add a Comment3 Comments
Judy,
I was also wondering how your story ended, and was happy to see that you updated us!
As you say, your son is not a Saint, but you have a good kid on your hands! :-) We'll never know, but Sam and his friends' "small act of kindness" to stand up to the bullies may have made a HUGE impact on their gay friend's life in the long-run. Maybe the gay-friend will be able to advocate for himself next time. Maybe the bullies will think twice next time they feel like picking on someone. Who knows!
At least your story made an impact on folks, and inspired me to be more of an advocate for others in the future---it's scary, but if a teenage boy can do it...I can, too! (p.s. I never, NEVER would have done that in high school..I was too preoccupied with being popular and "liked").
April 22, 2008 - 1:29pmThis Comment
Judy,
I found myself thinking about your story this morning and I'm glad you gave us an update.
The story kind of sounds like an after school special :) and I'm happy how it ended.
I was always raised around people who were different than me and am grateful to have had that experience.
What kind of trouble did your son get into with school?
Thank you for sharing with us at EmpowHer.
-Todd
April 14, 2008 - 5:42pmThis Comment
Hi Todd,
April 15, 2008 - 5:58pmSam just goofs off in school and tries to make people laugh. Last week he jokingly asked his teacher out on a date and, because it was deemed disrespectful, he got detention,
Sam did not get in any trouble with the school over the bullying incident.
Thanks for reading,
Judy
This Comment