I was watching a documentary recently about a movement called Quiverfull.
30,000 strong so far in America and increasing all the time - as well as growing in Canada and Australia. The women of this group believe that no birth control is necessary (or even right) and that how many children they have is up to God and nature.
Many of these women have 10, 12 and 15 children. And they continue to have more. Most are self-sufficient who do not depend on the tax payer to support their family. They believe huge families to be their ultimate goal and suggest that 12 children born to each woman is a viable number.
They have many challenges, from the simple day to day aspects of feeding their kids and transportation, to education and health care. But they also enjoy a lot of fun and kinship, as well as tight knit communities with the focus on their home lives. Many break out in laughter at the notion that they live this life against their will. They're aware that society, in general, believes they need some kind of rescuing and if only they were more educated, they'd know how demeaning their life choices are.
Contrary to stereotypes, not all Quiverfull women wear long dresses and abstain from "material" things. Many are educated, sporty, fit women who believe that large families make an environment strong, not weak. They are well-rounded and as opinionated as any boardroom dynamo.
They are not without their (many) critics. There have been accusations of racism and feminist women have accused Quiverfull men of holding their wives back and disallowing female independence. The women have been called "breeders" and slaves of a patriarchal society. Far more commentaries are critical than supportive. And some of this criticism may well be valid - it can be a hard and exhausting life, with little personal time or the "me time" we have come to expect in our more mainstream lives. But in interviews, the Quiverfull women say that they are happy, content and would never be in this life unless they wanted to be. They are less interested in "me" time, or the "me" concept in general. Some think this is rather refreshing.
Not many people believe them. They must be brainwashed. They must be subservient. Why else would any woman choose this life? Quiverfull women believe that real choice is being allowed to live as they wish - not how others wish them to live.
Some of the men and women who believe in the no birth control rules of the Quiverfull movement include the Duggar family (of 18 kids and Counting on TLC) and some of the families on the the show Families by the Dozen.
Whether a popular lifestyle or not, people are fascinated by these families and their TV ratings are high. Family blogs are filled with supportive messages. Less admiring articles have been published by Newsweek, The New York Times and other large publications as well as countless social commentary blogs.
For more information on the Quiverfull movement, click here : http://www.quiverfull.com/ and you can check out a show about these women on WETV's The Secret Lives of Women here : http://www.wetv.com/secret-lives-of-women/
One former leader of the Quiverfull movement has her own website, talking about why she left : http://nolongerquivering.com/
Tell Us
Do you find these families inspiring? Why or why not? Could you see yourself having a dozen or more kids? How many kids is enough for any family?
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Add a Comment21 Comments
Just wanted to point out that at the top of the page you linked, Vyckie's family blog, was this message "Welcome to the Bennett Family's Online Journal! We are not making this blog public. So if you are here, it's because you received an invitation ~ we ask that you not share the location of this blog without our consent. Thank you & God bless!"
So for one, you just shared her blog without consent. What a mean-spirited nasty thing to do. I can't say I have respect for someone who would betray someone's wish for privacy like that. Second, I don't actually see what you are pointing out. They seem like a nice loving family, just like they have been now on the anti-quiverful side. Changing your mindset about your fertility, your gender roles, etc. doesn't cause you to just stop loving your family. I have no clue why you even posted that link, other than to be malicious to the blog author. You're a real piece of work.
For the record, I'm the adult child of a Quiverful family. I've had to spend my entire adult life so far trying to recover from it, I do not recommend it to anyone. I also don't really know Vyckie, I've just read a bit of her stuff at nolongerqivering.
April 24, 2012 - 9:42amThis Comment
Dear..you have a very harsh side to you as well as a condeming one.Shame on you.
December 21, 2011 - 7:20pmThis Comment
The Duggars have said many times that they aren't quiverfull...
January 24, 2010 - 4:07amThis Comment
"Like what Tom Hanks said to Tom Cruise 'You cant handle the truth"
Actually, it was Jack Nicholson. And the movie was "A Few Good Men". If you're going to quote, at least quote accurately & give the reference.
Also, the Duggars ARE Quiverfull believers. They quote Psalm 127 right on their website which is the main inspiration for QF families. However; I will agree that in all the print & media I've seen of them, they've never come right out & stated they follow the Quiverfull movement. But then they've never denied it, either.
January 28, 2010 - 11:29amThis Comment
I have been following this movemetn for quiet awhile and find it absurd. How does the no of kids make you more 'godly'? At almost 40 I have no kids but not by choice I too get tired of being judged. QF isnt a faith at all. It doesnt help the infertile or childless woman's confidence. These women get shamed into more kids and many live in poverty. the poor kids dont have choices. While I support "Stand by Your Man' the man has to submit too. And Im not against large families Im against labeling kids as 'god's soldiers' and glorifying it on TV. Not everyone is suited for it. Vycki showed us the dark side Like what Tom Hanks said to Tom Cruise 'You cant handle the truth"
January 15, 2010 - 12:09amThis Comment
Hi Susan - I too want to thank you for your professional and neutral introduction to what could be a very controversial topic. I had never heard of Quiverfull men and women prior to reading your article, and learned a lot from the information you provided. While this would not be a lifestyle that I would personally choose, I do believe in individual freedoms and can understand why others would choose this.
November 26, 2009 - 5:57pmThanks for this information, and since you said this is a growing movement I hope you will keep us up to date as new developments occur.
Take good care,
Pat
This Comment
The husband is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church---i.e. to sacrifice his life for her. That truth is something the modern day "feminists" tend to never want to look into or acknowledge. To not take that half of the equation into account is to bring assumptions to the table regardless of the truth. Hard to respect intellectual cowardice.
And a lot of truth to your observation of the "quiet side."
jay
November 25, 2009 - 8:22amThis Comment
I am a 34 year old mother of six. Thats right, six! I am proud to be a quiver full wife, mother, and most of all woman. I am not abused, dilusional, or brow-beaten. I believe in biblical submission to my husband. Not as his door mat but as his help-meet, (this is the biblical term, not mine). Things are far more equal in this movement then people like Vyckie Bennett or Garrison now want to claim. Fame seeking femanist like Vyckie Bennett claim women in this "movement" are coerced are not complete without their husband because we need the "patriarch" over us. So how do you explain the counter to this, which is this "movement" also teaches that husbands NEED their wives. A completely whole person does not need "help" from anyone, there fore there would be no need to "meet". And those needs go far beyond the bedroom. It is sad that because most quiverfull families are reserved and chose not to respond to Vyckie's slander, that the silences are being assumed confessions of wrong doing. I personally know Vyckie Bennett, and I can assure you the story she now tells is far different from the story we experienced with her. Truth be told, I believe that when Vyckie lost her 15 minutes of fame with-in the QF family, she sought for more avenues of attention.
November 23, 2009 - 4:34pmThis Comment
Hmm..one of the thing's vickie pointed out was the unloving and judgemental spirit of the quiverful movement. You just proved she was telling at least one thing that was true.
December 21, 2011 - 7:18pmThis Comment
Anon,
Thank you so much for writing about your experience. It's wonderful to hear thoughts from the inside of any controversial issue. And you make an interesting point -- in today's world, any person (or population) that chooses to be quiet or reserved is automatically considered to be in silent agreement. We are such a media-centric society that this seems to be the only interpretation we can put on it.
Unfortunately, that reserve also keeps the other side of the story from being told. And often keeps us from understanding those on the quiet side. So thank you again, and I hope more women with different perspectives will write.
November 25, 2009 - 8:13amThis Comment