Surprise Yourself in a Stressful Situation

By Dave Balch Blogger

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I learned a very valuable lesson while taking care of my wife Chris following her mastectomy: "It’s surprising what you can do when you absolutely have to." Here’s the story (adapted from "Cancer for Two"):

She came home from the hospital with several “drains.” Picture a small clear plastic bulb, like the end of a turkey baster. A tube comes out of the bulb and disappeared into her body near the site of the surgery: the purpose is to allow fluid from the surgery site to flow through the tube and collect in the bulb rather than accumulate and cause pressure. The tube was held in place by a single stitch.

Late one night while emptying one of the drains, I accidentally pulled on it which caused tension on the stitch which felt like a thorn to Chris. I realized that the only way to fix it would be to cut the stitch, thereby relieving the pulling on her skin. But if I did that, what would hold the tube in place? We were going for our post-operative appointment the following Monday; if I snipped the stitch now would it be okay until then?

I came to the horrifying conclusion that the drain was going to have to be pulled out and that I was probably going to have to do it.

I paged the surgeon on-call and explained the situation; he agreed that the stitch had to be cut, and that definitely meant that the drain would have to come out because we could not leave it in without the stitch there to hold it in place. He said that it was time for the drain to come out anyway, so it wouldn’t be a problem.

Right. Not for him!

What about the hole that it leaves? Is it going to bleed like crazy? How do I patch it up?

I was way outside my comfort zone.

He told me that it probably wouldn’t bleed much, and to just put a bandage over it.

How much tubing will come out? I was imagining three feet of tubing with blood and entrails attached--what the hell was I doing in this situation?

He said that it would only be about five or six inches. I told him my fears and tried to make light of it and he assured me that it would all be okay, and we laughed about it together. Sort-of.

I remember thinking, “Am I really having this conversation? It’s midnight; is this simply a nightmare?” I even started to calculate how difficult it would be to drive to the hospital so they could do it, but getting dressed and ready to go followed by two hours in each direction was just too much. We could go to our local hospital, but Chris said she had confidence in me and didn’t want to leave the house.

So…

Chris immediately took one of her pain pills even though she wasn’t “due” for one. We went into the bathroom and she sat on the edge of the tub. I knew that we better do this right away because the more I thought about it, the more freaked-out I got. I can only imagine how Chris felt, but she was very brave (as she had been about everything else) and trusted me completely. We looked at each other and laughed nervously at the situation in which we found ourselves. Chris said, “Now listen, ‘Nurse Dave’. Just promise me that you won’t run screaming from the room until after it’s completely out!” That helped to break the tension a bit.

First, I cut the stitch and her thorn-like discomfort stopped immediately. I pulled out the little threads from the stitch: so far, so good. Then I told her to take a few deep, cleansing, relaxing breaths; I don’t know why, it just seemed like a good idea.

We took them together. One, two, THREE… and I pulled. At first, there was some resistance and the thought went through my mind that I hadn’t relieved the suction properly, but once the tube started to move it was out in a flash. As predicted, only about six inches came out and, happily, there were no entrails attached. There was no blood either, just a hole in Chris’s side. It was weird.

I held up the drain like a trophy and I became overwhelmed with relief that it was over and that it was okay. It was almost 1:30 in the morning, so being tired didn’t help. We complimented each other on our bravery and Chris gave me a big hug and thanked me.

The next time you're stressed about something that you have to do but don't think you can, think of me pulling out my wife's drain. It truly is surprising what you’re capable of doing when you have to.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.