By beautifullyred123 September 29, 2012 - 4:06am

WHEN I WAS 21 I BEGAN SERIOUSLY DOUBTING ALOT OF CHOICES IN MY LIFE. THE MAN I WAS DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH INTRODUCED ME TO A DRUG CALLED "SPEED" ALSO KOWN AS CRYSTAL METH. I HAD NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE THIS BECAUSE AS A GOOD KID GROWING UP I STAYED FAR AWAY FROM ANYONE INVOLVED WITH OR KNOWLEDGABLE ON DRUGS BUT IT BEING GIVEN TO BY SOMEONE I TRUSTED & AT A CHAOTIC TIME IN MY LIFE I GAVE IT A TRY. I WAS NOT HOOKED LIKE MOST PPL SAY BUT EVENTUALLY I DID BECOME AN ADDICT AND COULD ONLY FEEL JOY WHILE HIGH. I BECAME PREGNANT WITH MY SON DURING THIS TIME BUT MY ADDICTION CONTINUED, THE ONLY PRENATAL CARE I EVER RECEIVED WAS WHEN WE LEARNED THE SEX OF OUR BABY & WHEN I DELIVERED HIM BUT DESPITE ALL THE DANGERS I HAD SUBJECTED HIM 2 HE WAS A HEALTHY BABY BOY! I HAVE GOTTEN A HOLD ON MY ADDICTION WITH AN INTENSIVE OUTPATIENT TREATMENT PROGRAM WHILE MY FAMILY ASSIST WIT MY SON, I HAVE CUT OFF COMPLETE CONTACT WITH HIS FATHER WHO IS STILL ADDICTED WITH A FAMILY WHO COVERS IT UP & RIDICULES HIM INSTEAD OF HELPING IN HIS RECOVERY. I COULD HAVE DIED MANY TIMES, I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING EXCEPT MY MIND, SPIRIT, AND SON. I HAVE NO PHYSICAL SCARS OF DENTAL ISSUES LIKE MOST ADDICTS & IF IT WAS NOT FOR MY SON NO ONE I KNEW WOULD HAVE EVEN KNOWN I HAD AN ADDICTION TO CRYSTAL METH...FOR ANY ADDICT OUT THERE THATS TIRED BUT AFRAID TO TAKE THE FIRST TSEP PLEASE KNOW IT WILL BE HARD BUT LIFE CAN BE RESTORED! IM NOT PROUD OF MY ACTIONS, IM NOT VICTIMIZING MYSELF THE ONLY VICTIM IS MY SON BUT I JUST WANT OTHERS STRUGGLING TO OVERCOME ADDICTION THAT HOPE & THE WANT TO CHANGE IS ALL U NEED TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE...I AM GRATEFUL, I AM HONEST, I AM A SURVIVOR! EVERYDAY IS A BLESSING & I HAVE LEARNED TO ENJOY LIVE JUST FOR TODAY :)