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By
yourstellar89
October 27, 2011 - 1:40pm
I'm so lost and i don't really know what to do. I'm 21 years old. Was a full blown addict at the age of 15 and that continued untill i was 20. I went to rehab and was in recovery for a year until recently. I have a full time job, a part time job, go to school, attempting to have a relationship and keep my friends. This seems like life to most people and something that comes easy but for me i find it a struggle everyday. I am not diagnosed with anything but I am pretty sure i would test positive for ADD, depression and anxiety. I truely believe that my mental state is the reason that i chose/choose to do drugs. I am always going a mile a minute and nobody can ever keep up. Physically its taking a toll on me....mentally nobody even knows.... It cripples every part of my life and drugs, i thought, were the way to escape. I don't know if i can even get put on meds because I am on probation. I've contemplated checking myself in but everybody around me thinks i'm doing so well with everything. I'm lost, confused and desparate for help. How do i go about getting help for the craziness in my head. I do have my first doctor appointment next week. I haven't been to the doctor in 4 years. How do i tell them I need help? please somebody....
By
Worried mom
January 21, 2012 - 5:15pm
Lost,
I am new to this site and actually found your message both inspirational and concerning. Inspiration as you have matured enough to recognize that you are currently struggling and need some help, that you have managed to work through your addiction and move forward with your life; work, school, relationship, friends.... However, I am concerned that you are getting close to the edge, maybe too stressed out with all that you have going on and might make a bad decision soon.
It has been some time since you initiated this message....please message how you are doing. Did you get some help and manage to stay on track with your recovery efforts? Hang in there...people care!
This Comment
By
maa
October 29, 2011 - 7:15am
Maybe you are doing to much, when I read your life as it is today I don't think many people can keep up the pace. When you already have addictive habits, it is hard not to turn towards something when you are under so much stress. Do you have a close family member you can confide in? Can you drop some of your obligations? My suggestion is to cut back and not to try to do everything at once. Life is supposed to be fun and you are only 21, you don't have to do everything today, tomorrow will always be there. Don't listen to your friends about whether or not you need to check in, it is your body and mind that thinks you might need this, go with your gut feeling and not your friends feelings. Your friends are not walking in your shoes, you are. You also need to reach out to a group, a church or someone who has been living with an addiction and can give you some support. Addiction is very powerful, habits are always there whether good or bad. Support is your answer, good luck and let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.
October 29, 2011 - 7:15am
Hey yourstellar89,
Hope all is well. First of all, I think it's great that you've realized that you're not happy with this situation. Now all we have to do is find a solution!
As a 22 year old myself, I can confidently say that you are not alone. For some people, life and happiness seem to come so easy. Although an outsider may view your life as perfect, great, and whatever else, one can never know. Everybody's brain is so different from the next persons that a situation that one person might thrive in, might drive another person nuts! For example- I often wonder how or why my boyfriend truly enjoys his job, so, I ask him! With this I'm able to conclude that we are completely different in that respect. He thrives in a job that would absolutely drive me nuts!
I don't know how severe your symptoms of anxiety, ADD, and depression are but I think many people go through this in life. It's all about finding out the best way for YOU to deal with it. And you've already learned that drugs aren't the answer. Happiness takes work. Staying positive isn't always easy, but we only live once, so we gotta try, right?
Try to do things that make you happy. Sometimes I go through periods of time that I don't listen to music as much and I realize that it's bumming me out. And although I find it hard to make myself get out of bed and head to the gym, when I'm there and afterwards, I usually feel amazing. It's little things like that. I believe you can find things that make you happy, but like I said, it isn't always easy. Do drugs make it easier? Absolutely, but it isn't worth it.
Just remember that you are NOT alone.. Like Worried mom said, message me if you want to talk. I wouldn't mind it one bit.
Hang in there yourstellar89, & do something (healthy) that makes you happy today!
Best,
Danielle.
March 22, 2012 - 8:19amThis Comment