my son and i have reunited, and it has not been to good. i wonder if anyone that has been through this, ever had the thoughts that they wish that they had made the , other decision?
Dear health nut 1,
Sorry to hear the meeting did not go well. I think as birth parents we have an idea about our reunion with our child. I know I had some rather unrealistic expectations at first. Luckily I had time to adjust before we actually met face to face.
It has been 7 years now and although we aren't very close, we are still closer then I would have expected.
I say give it some time. If you don't mind sharing what was the problem with the first meeting and what has happened since then we might be able to help you.
Each story is different. Each adopted child feels differently about their adoption. Just like each birth parent has a different perspective and reasons.
Hi health nut 1,"I have a friend..."Who was adopted and found her mother as a teen, many many years ago. Things were not ideal, but my friend really wanted to meet her mom. They had a decent relationship, but I could always tell that deep down, her adoption made her a little sad. Her mother eventually passed, but I know that in this case, if my friend didn't find her mom, she would have always had an emptiness, a longing. Not all people are this way. I have another friend who never cared to find his parents, and he's happier that way.
However, as a semi-outsider, I am thankful that my friend was adopted, otherwise my life would be very different. I don't know if reuniting with your son was your idea or his, but if it didn't turn out ideally, I think it's best to give it time and understand the hurt that can often go hand-in-hand with adoption. Understanding that my friend was given a better life because of her biological mother's (difficult) choice, really helped me see the good, but this isn't true for everyone.
Like Daisy said, a little more background would be good to share, especially for others who can relate. Regardless, whatever happened, happened. Don't waste your time wondering "what if." This will only drive you crazy, trust me! Instead of wishing to change the past, take your present and your future and make the best of it.
Hi health nut1,
Welcome to EmpowHER. Sorry to hear this. Would you like to tell us more about your story. Am sure it might help others going through the same and you might be able to get support and feedback from others as well.
This group is a forum for discussion of adoption. It is for prospective adoptive parents and birth parents, as well as for women who have placed a child for adoption and women who have adopted a child.
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