Feeling Trapped, Unhappy and Alone
Hello, first Iam glad to find this group with other people who understand how I feel. Im a 46 year old woman and my husband is 11 years younger than me. He is in the last stagees of kidney failure, has hypertension and congestive heart failure! I have hypertension and fibromyalgia and widespread arthritis in my body. I want to leave my husband but feel selfish for even thinking about it. He isn't the same man I married. His illness has left him pretty much a hermit! He stays in our bedroom all day accept when he goes to dialysis and goes to get his marijuana. We are in a sexless marriage; not my choice though! He can do something about that problem but refuses too. We are in the same house but seems like living seperate lives. There is NO intimacy what so ever. I cant ever bring up our problems tp him because he shuts me down and makes me feel like its just not that serious but in reality it is! I have my iwn health issues but I try not to be a burden on anyone so I will do what I can to apart of my kids life. I want to be apart of his but he choses to be alone in the room smoking his weed and and being in his tablet. I dont seem to matter. We had these same problems when I first married him but I thought they would get better in time. Its been five years later and they are worse! I feel selfish if i think about leaving him but doesny my happiness matter too? I know that my life would be stress free and better if I left him but the guilt is whats stopping me. Ive hung in there as long as I can. I have NO more fight left in me! God help me because I dont know what else to do! I feel so trapped and alone and unhappy in this marriage.