I have been married 15 years to a wonderful man. He has been chronically ill for the entire time, worsening each year. When we were first married he was still able to do so much. Each year he physically loses his ability to do just about anything. Due to his worsening condition he suffers from depression.
I take care of him the best I can. I think of him first always. I never thought I would resent taking care of him. Slowly but surely I am losing myself. Everything I do revolves around him except one hobby. This hobby has caused several fights.
At what point is it okay to be selfish?
My friends and family always ask me about his health. I am no longer an interesting person. It is all about him. I too suffer from chronical illness but my pain is always secondary. His health always comes first. I miss the old me. The one who was interesting and fun. I no longer feel as if I am either. My friends don't understand what it is like to be a caregiver. They expect him to be "normal" and have normal issues. Our relationship is mostly solid. I don't want to be angry about taking care of him. I love him so much.
Any suggestions? Is it okay to be selfish?